some people ay that now we can films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. discuss both these views and gi9ve your opinion.

#people #ay #films #phones #tablets #cinema #gi #ve

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I live in

Correct article usage

a moden

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moden

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modern

area. Few people are rich and other

persons

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people

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are poor and medal class they are not

afortable

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comfortable

for

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with

show examples

their movie tickets to watch their

Use synonyms

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

Use synonyms

cinema

Add an article

the cinema

a cinema

show examples

. Nowadays,

somw

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some

family watch

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film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

T.v

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TVs

and mobile

phone

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phones

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or tablets. Some

mans

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men

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see

the

Correct article usage

show examples

film

Use synonyms

cinema

Add an article

the cinema

a cinema

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

once

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apply

show examples

a months

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a month

months

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. In

thsi

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this

essay

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essay,

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I will discuss

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apply

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some pros and cons in my below paragraph. One of the

buring

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burning

issue

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issues

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todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

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world, There are many people

live

Wrong verb form

living

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in our country, some people are well-off and

other

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others

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are working class. There are

differnce

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differences

in their person. Few lower-class

family

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families

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watch

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show examples

new

movie

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movies

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

T.V

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TVs

and

smart phone

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smartphone

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and other

opation

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options

. Because they do not

afortable

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affordable

the cost of pictures.

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For

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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reason, some worker

working

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work

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in a small

comapny

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company

, and their salary are very low to other employees. They

allwes

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always

see the movies

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show examples

their phone and Internet. As a

results

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result

show examples

, There are options

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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avelable

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available

in our city

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for

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

new release

Use synonyms

film

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of film

show examples

. like many new

application

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applications

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for

netfilx

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Netfilx

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and hoststar and

may

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many

show examples

other

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others

show examples

This

Linking Words

app

are

Change the verb form

show examples

very

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

to see

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for seeing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

films

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show examples

mobile and many other options. On the other side of coins,

Therer

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there

are many

educations

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educated

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persons and good

employer

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employers

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live

Wrong verb form

living

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in our city.They

alwas

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always

prefer to watch the

brodcart

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broadcast

cinema

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. Because they believe that watching

moves

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movies

show examples

cinema

Use synonyms

is good and enjoyment For their family and childen. For explain, some

society

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societies

show examples

Trust for lot

off

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show examples

entertaiment provied

Correct your spelling

entertainment provided

for their family.

Hence

Linking Words

, soem Rich person allwas watching films in

Use synonyms

cinema

Correct article usage

the cinema

show examples

because

tehy

Correct your spelling

they

remove their

strest

Correct your spelling

stress

street

and tensions and enjoy to films, once

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a months

Correct the article-noun agreement

a month

months

show examples

For

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion, in my opinion

Use synonyms

film

Fix the agreement mistake

films

show examples

in a

cinema

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

ggod

Correct your spelling

good

for resindent because they

Add a missing verb

are allways

show examples

allways entertaiment

Correct your spelling

always entertaining

and

remove

Verb problem

create

show examples

tension

free

Correct your spelling

tension-free

show examples

life.

Submitted by Rachna Academy on Mon Mar 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

It's important to present a well-structured argument with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point. Consider organizing your essay with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs (discussing each view separately), and a conclusion. This will greatly improve the logical flow and structure of your argument.

task achievement

While you have attempted to introduce the topic and provide some discussion, your argument is difficult to follow due to grammatical errors and unclear sentences. Consider enhancing your task achievement by clearly stating your opinion and providing more developed examples to support each side of the argument. Try to specify your views with clearer, more comprehensive sentences and relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on your grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Frequent spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors can make your essay difficult to understand. This detracts from your overall argument and makes it hard for the reader to follow. Using varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary would also help articulate your points more clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
79
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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some people ay that now we can films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. discuss both these views and gi9ve your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people to prevent illness and disease

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?