IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company's manager. In your letter: -give details of the celebration - explain the reason why you need time off - suggest a way to have your work done during that time

#work #company #time #celebration #manager #-give #reason
Dear Shayla, I am writing
this
 letter to you to request a one-week vacation starting
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 March 1, 2024,
ending
Correct word choice
and ending
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 on March 8, 2024,
due to
 the marriage of my aunt's daughter, which is going to be held at the Green Garden, in Dubay.
This
occurence
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 is extremely vital for all the family members. And
this
 is
also
 an opportunity for all family members to get together
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 spend some time with each other. I would like to apply for at least a
one-weeks
Correct your spelling
week
show examples
 off so I can help my cousin make
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
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 for
this
 occasion and spend some time with my family. I have already booked the first available flight to Dubai and return tickets as well. I will arrive back in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Uzbekistan in the early morning of the 8th of March and I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be able to start working the same day. Please consider
this
 extreme situation I am facing at the moment and allow me to have
this
 time off work. Yours sincerely, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Structure and Flow
Be clear and organized in your request. A good structure includes a clear opening statement, detailed body paragraphs, and a polite closing. Each paragraph should carry a single clear idea, linked smoothly to the others.
Grammar and Style
Remember to check for grammatical errors and ensure sentence variety for a better flow. Active voice is preferred for clarity.
Detail and Authenticity
Be specific about your contribution to the event or the reason why your presence is necessary, providing more details can strengthen your request.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use connectors or transitional phrases to ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
Responsibility and Planning
To enhance the letter, consider including how you plan to manage or make up for work missed during your absence. This demonstrates responsibility and consideration for your work duties.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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