IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#movies #audience #type #movie #support
People's concern regarding the movie design has been a topical debate lately. Some people believe that films are designed with more philosophical logic that makes the audience think,
while
 others are just for entertaining purposes. Personally, both of them have good sides,
however
, the sole aim of the
film
 is to amuse the moviegoers. The preference of genre especially for films makes the director have to push their creativity to serve a good masterpiece.
film
 has a lot of components, not only the actors and actresses who act and do the scenes, but
also
 the supporting effects and
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 of stories are considered by the creator
film
. Indeed, the public wants to see their favourite actors/actresses when they perform in
film
, yet, the design drama is still the one that they consider to watch.
This
 is because the range of spectators is mostly adolescents and young adults who have more time to watch.
Furthermore
, the range of their understanding of the
film
also
 has to be taken into account, so they can savor the
film
.
On the other hand
, viewers who are really fond of the
film
 will pick out the philosophical genre rather than following the trend that rising lately. Their goals are to be amused by the design of the story,
furthermore
, can
also
 be indulged with the execution from the director and other components. Take the Sherlock Holmes Movie as an example,
this
film
 is not as popular as Avanger which almost produced around 1 million USD in 2019, yet it had its own fans who enjoyed the good story of a detective.
This
 is because the public tends to avoid
film
 genres about riddle movies that make them think about the plot or maybe predict and
also
 solve the problem
at the end
 of the story. The public may think it a waste of time and money to think again
whereas
, they watch to get relaxation from their busy lives.
To sum up
, rather the genre of
film
 has its own fans who enjoy watching, still, the main purpose of the
film
 is to be enjoyed by viewers.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure your arguments directly answer the question posed by the prompt. The essay somewhat strays from directly stating personal preference until the conclusion. Be clear and direct about your choice throughout.
task achievement
For clearer and more comprehensive ideas, work on developing each argument with more depth and provide more specific examples. While you did mention movies like Avengers and Sherlock Holmes, further elaboration on why these examples support your preference would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Although the basic structure is present, some parts of the argument seem disjointed. Transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs can enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion. While present, they could be made more impactful by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your key points more effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To better support your main points, consider adding more detailed examples and explanations. This not only strengthens your argument but also helps the reader follow your line of thought more clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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