It Getting promotion is one of the biggest driver for people to apply to themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

It is true that
promotion
plays a crucial role in human lives.
Promotion
is one of the most required
aim
Change to a plural noun
aims
show examples
for the population through hard
work
in these
modern-era
Correct your spelling
modern times
show examples
. Salaries and
passion
are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for people like to get that and there are some other factors
also
Correct pronoun usage
that also
show examples
influenced
Wrong verb form
influence
show examples
to put
hard
Change preposition
in hard
show examples
work
which
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
satisfaction
.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with, there are two main
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for people prefer to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
through hard
work
. One of the main causes is that
salary
increment
Fix the agreement mistake
increments
show examples
in order to
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a chance to manage their family expenses without making
budget
Add an article
a budget
the budget
show examples
. Another possible reason is that
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
some individuals have
passion
towards their
work
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
without expecting anything because they love their
job
, so they put
plenty
Change preposition
in plenty
show examples
of hard
work
.
For instance
,
passion
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
work
can lead to
promoting
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher position with good
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
from their employer. Needless to say, it brings more
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
along with
respect to the society by strive.
Furthermore
, there is
some other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
factor
Correct pronoun usage
that influence
show examples
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
to put
Verb problem
apply
show examples
hard
work
which is
job
satisfaction
. Many employees are worked and put more effort
along with
hard
work
to gain
satisfaction
from it.
This
means they do not worry about their
salary
package and position
promotion
instead
of
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they like to get
satisfaction
only.
For example
, teachers only gain
satisfaction
from their
work
besides
salary
but they love their
job
and put more effort
to teach
Change preposition
into teaching
show examples
their students.
In other words
, working by hard
work
they stay far away from any psychological issues like stress and depression. In conclusion, individuals are being hard
work
to do their
work
for
salary
increment
Fix the agreement mistake
increments
show examples
and
passion
along with
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
from
Add an article
the employer
an employer
show examples
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
.
Job
satisfaction
also
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
to the public
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
worker and
strive
Wrong verb form
striving
show examples
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments clearly.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. While you have mentioned some examples, adding more detailed and varied examples will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Discuss all factors mentioned in the question, and try to develop each point fully with clear explanations and examples.
general
Work on grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Avoid repetition and strive for variety in sentence structures and word choice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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