Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Most museums require national
a
Change the article
an
entrance
fee
while
the rest are free.I believe that this
generates income to
the survival of these Change preposition
for
places
, and
gives Correct word choice
apply
a
value to Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
history
and generate
foreign revenue Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
to
a Change preposition
for
country
. However
, the unaffordability for the poorer
is the major drawback of the above. Yet , I think Replace the word
poor
Correct article usage
the benifits
benifits
of taking a Correct your spelling
benefits
fee
from entrees outweight
the drawbacks Correct your spelling
outweigh
of
Change preposition
apply
it
.
To commence with, Correct pronoun usage
apply
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
fee
for a museum will generate money to operate the place.Most of these places
are poorly funded by the authorities ,and therefore
if they do not generate an income from visitors, these places
cannot survive in the long run. For instance
, the one and only railway museum in Sri Lanka was abonded
by the government in 2022 Correct your spelling
abandoned
due to
the economical
crisis faced by the Replace the word
economic
country
. Where as
, if they Correct your spelling
Whereas
collect
money from the visitors it would haveWrong verb form
had collected
been
survived till today.
Other than that, it would create Unnecessary verb
apply
a
value for the art and Correct article usage
apply
history
which have been displayed in these places
, and they attract tourists a lot. Thus
, this
can generate good foreign revenue to
the Change preposition
for
country
. For example
, accroding
to the 2023 nationalCorrect your spelling
according
bussiness
report,Correct your spelling
business
Correct article usage
the
musueum
of Sri Lanka Correct your spelling
museum
had
earned nearly 5%Unnecessary verb
apply
from
the total Change preposition
of
tourism related
Add a hyphen
tourism-related
forigne
revenues for the Correct your spelling
foreign
last
year. Therefore
, entrance
fee
from these Fix the agreement mistake
fees
places
have many advantages to the nation.
Unfortunately, this
can creates
a burden on poor people in a Change the verb form
create
country
. Although
,
they have the Remove the comma
apply
intrest
and Correct your spelling
interest
pivilage
to see Correct your spelling
privilege
the
Correct article usage
apply
history
as the citizens of the country
, this
price barrier prevents their interrest
. Correct your spelling
interest
However
, governing bodies can introduce seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
statergies
for the poor countrymen. Just as in Japan Correct your spelling
strategies
where
Correct your spelling
there
no
Add a missing verb
is no
fee
for the Japanese low income
families and children below 16 years to visit their museums.
In conclusion, Add a hyphen
low-income
collection
of an Correct article usage
the collection
entrance
fee
can use
to function Wrong verb form
be used
these
important Change preposition
in these
places
, while
creating a
good foreign revenue Correct article usage
apply
to
the Change preposition
for
country
. However
, poor people lost the priviladge
Correct your spelling
privilege
to see
their Change preposition
of seeing
history
by
Change preposition
through
this
, but still
if authorities Add a comma
still,
involve
and looked at Wrong verb form
were involved
this
in
Change preposition
on
a
Correct article usage
apply
humantarian
ground they stillCorrect your spelling
humanitarian
can
negotiate with Verb problem
apply
this
problem effectively. As such
this
writer is in
strong notion that Verb problem
has
advantages
of charges at a museum Correct article usage
the advantages
outwight
the disadvantages Correct your spelling
outweigh
of
Change preposition
apply
it
.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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Content Balance
Make sure to address both sides of the argument clearly and distinctly. While you have discussed both the advantages and disadvantages, more balanced treatment and clearer distinction between them could strengthen your argument.
Coherence
Work on refining the logical flow between ideas. Use more varied and sophisticated linking phrases to smoothly transition between points.
Task Response
Improve the essay by directly addressing the question in your introduction and conclusion. Restate the question and clearly present your opinion at the beginning; summarize your main points and restate your opinion at the end for a stronger argument.
Language Use
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures for a richer and more accurate expression. Checking for common errors such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage will also enhance the quality.
Idea Development & Support
For better clarity, focus on developing clear, comprehensive points. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea aligned with the essay question. Use examples that directly support your arguments for greater relevancy.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example