Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

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Most museums require

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show examples

entrance

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fee

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the rest are free.I believe that

this

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generates income

Change preposition

for

show examples

the survival of these

places

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and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

gives

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

value to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history

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and

generate

Correct subject-verb agreement

generates

show examples

foreign revenue

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for

show examples

country

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However

Linking Words

, the unaffordability for the

poorer

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poor

show examples

is the major drawback of the above. Yet , I think

Correct article usage

the benifits

show examples

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

of taking a

fee

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from entrees

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the drawbacks

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. To commence with,

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entrance

Correct article usage

the entrance

show examples

fee

Use synonyms

for a museum will generate money to operate the place.Most of these

places

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are poorly funded by the authorities ,and

therefore

Linking Words

if they do not generate an income from visitors, these

places

Use synonyms

cannot survive in the long run.

For instance

Linking Words

, the one and only railway museum in Sri Lanka was

abonded

Correct your spelling

abandoned

by the government in 2022

due to

Linking Words

the

economical

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economic

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crisis faced by the

country

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Where as

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Whereas

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, if they

collect

Wrong verb form

had collected

show examples

money from the visitors it would have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

survived till today. Other than that, it would create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

value for the art and

history

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which have been displayed in these

places

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, and they attract tourists a lot.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can generate good foreign revenue

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for

show examples

the

country

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

accroding

Correct your spelling

according

to the 2023 national

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

report,

Correct article usage

the

show examples

national

musueum

Correct your spelling

museum

of Sri Lanka

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

earned nearly 5%

from

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show examples

the total

tourism related

Add a hyphen

tourism-related

show examples

forigne

Correct your spelling

foreign

revenues for the

last

Linking Words

year.

Therefore

Linking Words

entrance

Use synonyms

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

from these

places

Use synonyms

have many advantages to the nation. Unfortunately,

this

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can

creates

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create

show examples

a burden on poor people in a

country

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Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have the

intrest

Correct your spelling

interest

and

pivilage

Correct your spelling

privilege

to see

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

history

Use synonyms

as the citizens of the

country

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this

Linking Words

price barrier prevents their

interrest

Correct your spelling

interest

However

Linking Words

, governing bodies can introduce

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

statergies

Correct your spelling

strategies

for the poor countrymen. Just as in Japan

where

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

Add a missing verb

is no

show examples

fee

Use synonyms

for the Japanese

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

families and children below 16 years to visit their museums. In conclusion,

collection

Correct article usage

the collection

show examples

of an

entrance

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fee

Use synonyms

can

use

Wrong verb form

be used

show examples

to function

these

Change preposition

in these

show examples

important

places

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while

Linking Words

creating

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good foreign revenue

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

country

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, poor people lost the

priviladge

Correct your spelling

privilege

to see

Change preposition

of seeing

show examples

their

history

Use synonyms

Change preposition

through

show examples

this

Linking Words

, but

still

Add a comma

still,

show examples

if authorities

involve

Wrong verb form

were involved

show examples

and looked at

this

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humantarian

Correct your spelling

humanitarian

ground they still

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

negotiate with

this

Linking Words

problem effectively. As

such

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

writer

is in

Verb problem

has

show examples

strong notion that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

of charges at a museum

outwight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Submitted by dinaka0001 on Mon Mar 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content Balance

Make sure to address both sides of the argument clearly and distinctly. While you have discussed both the advantages and disadvantages, more balanced treatment and clearer distinction between them could strengthen your argument.

Coherence

Work on refining the logical flow between ideas. Use more varied and sophisticated linking phrases to smoothly transition between points.

Task Response

Improve the essay by directly addressing the question in your introduction and conclusion. Restate the question and clearly present your opinion at the beginning; summarize your main points and restate your opinion at the end for a stronger argument.

Language Use

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures for a richer and more accurate expression. Checking for common errors such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage will also enhance the quality.

Idea Development & Support

For better clarity, focus on developing clear, comprehensive points. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea aligned with the essay question. Use examples that directly support your arguments for greater relevancy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

377 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that educating people about the problems of eating too much fast food has no effect and that other measures should be taken to tackle this issue. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school. Why is this? What are some possible solutions for this problem?