The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Generally,
Money
is the most essential part of our life. Without any
money
Add a comma
money,
show examples
we can not do anything in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
context. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
with the statement.
First,
Money
is the most important part of our daily life. we need to earn
money
to survive. In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
context people are working hard to earn
money
so that they
gave
Wrong verb form
can give
show examples
their families a happy life.
Submitted by bibekluitel758 on

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logical structure
Your essay lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. To improve, make sure to clearly separate your essay into these parts, introducing your topic, developing your arguments, and summarizing your points in the conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay does not have a clear introduction or conclusion. Begin your essay with a sentence that paraphrases the question or statement and end with a summary of your main points or a final thought on the topic.
supported main points
While your essay mentions working hard for money, it lacks specific examples or explanations to support your points. Make your argument stronger by including real-life examples, data, or detailed logical reasoning to explain why you agree with the statement.
complete response
Your essay response is incomplete and does not fully address the prompt. To improve, develop your essay further by elaborating on your viewpoint with more detailed explanations, analyses, or counterarguments to fully answer the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
While you provide a clear stance, the ideas need to be developed more comprehensively. Expand your essay by explaining the reasons behind your agreement, considering possible different perspectives, and providing more detailed examples.
relevant specific examples
To strengthen your argument, ensure to include relevant and specific examples that illustrate your point. These examples can be from your own experience, observations, or general knowledge, but they should directly support your argument about the importance of money.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
What to do next:
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