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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given plans provide an overview
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a public
park
 which has undergone some modifications during the timeframe from 1920 to
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 day.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that the middle of the public
park
 is the most has been changed area. Apart from
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 every part of the
park
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to be changed. First of all, the fountain which was
suited
Verb problem
situated
show examples
 in the centre of the
park
 was replaced with
rose
Add an article
a rose
the rose
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 garden. Alongside, there are some seats that
added
Add a missing verb
are added
show examples
 to
across
Change preposition
apply
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the garden.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the right side of the map, the area which it used to
occupy
Wrong verb form
be occupied
show examples
 by
glasshouse
Correct article usage
a glasshouse
show examples
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
show examples
 with
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 feature.
Besides
, an underground
park
 was constructed next to the water feature.
Top
Change preposition
On top
show examples
 of the right side, it can be clearly observed that the pond for water plants was demolished and
instead
 of that, a children’s play
are
Correct your spelling
area
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 has been constructed.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the left side of the map, there is
amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an amphitheatre
show examples
 situated
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 area which used to
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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stage for musicians.
Additionally
, seats that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 placed left corners of the
park
omitted
Add a missing verb
were omitted
show examples
.
To conclude
, the public
park
’s layout has been substantially modified over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Submitted by aleynacanacikel on

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structure
Enhance the essay’s structure by including clear paragraph divisions, ensuring every main body paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the changes to the park.
cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the essay's flow. Phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'As for', and 'On the other hand' can introduce ideas more smoothly.
language clarity
Ensure precise and accurate use of language. For example, 'the most has been changed area' could be amended to 'the area that has undergone the most changes'. Clearly proofread to correct small errors and improve clarity.
task response
To fully meet the task's requirements, ensure your summary is comprehensive but concise, covering all key features of both plans. Where possible, include comparative statements to explicitly highlight changes over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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