Nowadays, there is a rapid increase of rubbish amounts all around the world. What are the main causes for it? What can be a solution, in your opinion?
Today, the
amount
of garbage
on Earth is surging dramatically day by day. Our addiction of
buying goods which we do not actually need and using too Change preposition
to
much
synthetic Change the quantifier
many
materials
every day cause this
issue, and I believe this
problem will be much harmful
if we can shop at normal levels.
We use Correct quantifier usage
more harmful
materials
made of inorganic materials
everyday
, and because of the fact that these are inorganic, we choose to pollute our environment Replace the word
every day
everyday
without thinking of its consequences. The clothes we buy and the bags we use Replace the word
every day
generally
all made of plastic compounds which cause Add a missing verb
are generally
degredation
to our planet. I believe Correct your spelling
degradation
over consumption
is the primary reason for Correct your spelling
overconsumption
this
mass amount
of trash we create. By buying every single product that has been showed
to us Change the verb form
showing
shown
from
advertisers, we create our own trash in our own houses and Change preposition
by
this
means we spend to add more items which are going to end up garbage
in our habitat. Take TikTok cosmetic influencers, for instance
, they not only buy numerous
Change the article
a numerous
the numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
unncessary
things which is going to expire in 1 year after Correct your spelling
unnecessary
package
Correct article usage
the package
openning
and go to Correct your spelling
opening
rubbish
afterwards, but they Correct article usage
the rubbish
also
encourage people to do exactly
Add an article
the exactly
same
thing, to create more Correct article usage
the same
garbage
as though we do not create enough.
I believe a useful solution to this
is to prevent ourselves from the maximalist way of living and the idea of "the more the better". We are slightly manipulated by big companies about the illusion of happiness if we consume their products
and this
is the key point about reducing the garbage
levels, I believe. Although
thousands of products
which have been already manufactured will stay on top of the garbage
we are making, blocking the impulsive additude
of shopping would decrease the trash we put Correct your spelling
attitude
in to
our world. Join the words
into
For example
, in the countries which have the most manimalist
citizens Correct your spelling
minimalist
such
as Switzerland and Norway, the
nature is yet not harmed and the environment is still Correct article usage
apply
elligible
to live in it.
Correct your spelling
eligible
To conclude
, we create garbage
by buying products
and create
another one to carry it and to reduce the Wrong verb form
creating
amount
of unused materials
in the world, I believe we should stop consuming this
much and start to buy reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
amount
of products
.Submitted by :DDDDD on
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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that the essay fully answers all parts of the prompt. While you've correctly identified causes and proposed a solution, elaborating more on how exactly these actions would address the underlying issue could strengthen your argument. Additionally, including a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points would help underscore their validity and enhance the overall impact of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow between ideas. While your essay has a basic structure, it can benefit from clearer transitions and more explicit connections between points. Consider using a range of cohesive devices (e.g., besides, however, consequently) more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs, ensuring a smoother reading experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
To make your main points more impactful, it’s beneficial to provide stronger and more diversified examples or evidence. Specific real-world examples, facts, or statistics related to the production of waste, its impact, and how minimalism in certain countries contributes to less waste could offer more solid support for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revisiting the structure of your essay to ensure there's a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each section should serve its purpose distinctly: introduce the topic and your thesis statement; develop your argument with supported points; and summarise your argument, restating your thesis in light of the evidence presented.