Nowadays, there is a rapid increase of rubbish amounts all around the world. What are the main causes for it? What can be a solution, in your opinion?

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Today, the
amount
of
garbage
on Earth is surging dramatically day by day. Our addiction
of
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to
show examples
buying goods which we do not actually need and using too
much
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many
show examples
synthetic
materials
every day cause
this
issue, and I believe
this
problem will be much
harmful
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more harmful
show examples
if we can shop at normal levels. We use
materials
made of inorganic
materials
everyday
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every day
show examples
, and because of the fact that these are inorganic, we choose to pollute our environment
everyday
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every day
show examples
without thinking of its consequences. The clothes we buy and the bags we use
generally
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are generally
show examples
all made of plastic compounds which cause
degredation
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degradation
to our planet. I believe
over consumption
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overconsumption
show examples
is the primary reason for
this
mass
amount
of trash we create. By buying every single product that has been
showed
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showing
shown
show examples
to us
from
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by
show examples
advertisers, we create our own trash in our own houses and
this
means we spend to add more items which are going to end up
garbage
in our habitat. Take TikTok cosmetic influencers,
for instance
, they not only buy
numerous
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a numerous
the numerous
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number of
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apply
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unncessary
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unnecessary
things which is going to expire in 1 year after
package
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the package
show examples
openning
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opening
and go to
rubbish
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the rubbish
show examples
afterwards, but they
also
encourage people to do
exactly
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the exactly
show examples
same
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the same
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thing, to create more
garbage
as though we do not create enough. I believe a useful solution to
this
is to prevent ourselves from the maximalist way of living and the idea of "the more the better". We are slightly manipulated by big companies about the illusion of happiness if we consume their
products
and
this
is the key point about reducing the
garbage
levels, I believe.
Although
thousands of
products
which have been already manufactured will stay on top of the
garbage
we are making, blocking the impulsive
additude
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attitude
of shopping would decrease the trash we put
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
our world.
For example
, in the countries which have the most
manimalist
Correct your spelling
minimalist
citizens
such
as Switzerland and Norway,
the
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apply
show examples
nature is yet not harmed and the environment is still
elligible
Correct your spelling
eligible
to live in it.
To conclude
, we create
garbage
by buying
products
and
create
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creating
show examples
another one to carry it and to reduce the
amount
of unused
materials
in the world, I believe we should stop consuming
this
much and start to buy
reasonable
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a reasonable
show examples
amount
of
products
.
Submitted by :DDDDD on

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that the essay fully answers all parts of the prompt. While you've correctly identified causes and proposed a solution, elaborating more on how exactly these actions would address the underlying issue could strengthen your argument. Additionally, including a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points would help underscore their validity and enhance the overall impact of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow between ideas. While your essay has a basic structure, it can benefit from clearer transitions and more explicit connections between points. Consider using a range of cohesive devices (e.g., besides, however, consequently) more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs, ensuring a smoother reading experience.
Coherence and Cohesion
To make your main points more impactful, it’s beneficial to provide stronger and more diversified examples or evidence. Specific real-world examples, facts, or statistics related to the production of waste, its impact, and how minimalism in certain countries contributes to less waste could offer more solid support for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revisiting the structure of your essay to ensure there's a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each section should serve its purpose distinctly: introduce the topic and your thesis statement; develop your argument with supported points; and summarise your argument, restating your thesis in light of the evidence presented.
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