Some people think that advertisement between films is wasting time and some people says it has lots of benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

While
a faction of
people
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
the notion that
advertisement
between movies is worthless, others argue that it is beneficial for the viewers. I totally agree with the latter view as ample reasons
present
Add a missing verb
are present
show examples
to substantiate it. First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of the
advertisement
between the films is the information about
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
trends and models.
In other words
, video
advertisement
is the best way to be informed
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
new products or services launched by the companies.
For example
, new features of mobile phones can be
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
on television.
Similarly
, attractive
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
will improve the image of business establishments and increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
.
As a result
local economy would be boosted by
people
spending more amount in the market.
Furthermore
,
televison
Correct your spelling
television advertisements
advertisment
between movies, undeniably, attract more
people
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than any kind of
advertisement
.
Therefore
, business institutions will
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
type of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
. By doing
this
creative
people
would get better opportunities for their career development in the
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
sector.
Besides
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are entertained
as well as
acquire knowledge by the
advertisement
. In detail, advertisements
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
targeted
Wrong verb form
target
show examples
children might have entertainment
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
to attract them.
For example
, the famous
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
a chocolate band become popular among children. In conclusion,
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
are the best way to be informed to the public for companies and improve their sale.
Thriving
Correct article usage
The thriving
show examples
adverstisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
industry helps
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creative
people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get better opportunities. I believe that
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
between movies is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
show examples
than any kind of other
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction briefly mentioned the topic, but it could be more engaging by adding a thesis statement that directly answers the question. Your conclusion reiterated your stance but did not effectively summarize the key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While you included some transition phrases, variety and accuracy in their use can further enhance the coherence. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both views mentioned in the question before presenting your own. Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments, as this will make your position more persuasive and comprehensive.
general
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. Consider using more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

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