Some people think that advertisement between films is wasting time and some people says it has lots of benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

#people #advertisement #films #time #lots

While

a faction of

people

holds

Correct subject-verb agreement

hold

show examples

the notion that

between movies is worthless, others argue that it is beneficial for the viewers. I totally agree with the latter view as ample reasons

present

Add a missing verb

are present

show examples

to substantiate it. First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of the

between the films is the information about

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

trends and models.

In other words

, video

is the best way to be informed

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

new products or services launched by the companies.

For example

, new features of mobile phones can be

transfered

Correct your spelling

transferred

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

on television.

Similarly

, attractive

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

will improve the image of business establishments and increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

As a result

local economy would be boosted by

people

spending more amount in the market.

Furthermore

televison

Correct your spelling

television advertisements

advertisment

between movies, undeniably, attract more

people

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than any kind of

Therefore

, business institutions will

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

type of

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

. By doing

this

creative

people

would get better opportunities for their career development in the

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

sector.

Besides

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are entertained

as well as

acquire knowledge by the

. In detail, advertisements

which is

Verb problem

that

show examples

targeted

Wrong verb form

target

show examples

children might have entertainment

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

to attract them.

For example

, the famous

advertisment

Correct your spelling

Change preposition

for

show examples

a chocolate band become popular among children. In conclusion,

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

are the best way to be informed to the public for companies and improve their sale.

Thriving

Correct article usage

The thriving

show examples

adverstisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

industry helps

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

creative

people

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get better opportunities. I believe that

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

between movies is

beneficial

Correct quantifier usage

more beneficial

show examples

than any kind of other

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

Submitted by ck.manshad on Mon Mar 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction briefly mentioned the topic, but it could be more engaging by adding a thesis statement that directly answers the question. Your conclusion reiterated your stance but did not effectively summarize the key points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While you included some transition phrases, variety and accuracy in their use can further enhance the coherence. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea followed by supporting details.

task achievement

To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both views mentioned in the question before presenting your own. Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments, as this will make your position more persuasive and comprehensive.

general

Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors. Consider using more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealth with locally. Others think that they should be dealth will locally. DIscuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays，some people believe that the worldwide environmental problem should be solved with globally while the others have the opposite view. In my opinion, I believe this problem ought to be dealt with internationally as it is really complicated and difficult.
6
band
People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than on other factors. To what extent you agree or disagree？
The assertion that shopping habits are primarily influenced by one's age group rather than other factors is an intriguing perspective. In my opinion, while age does play a significant role in shaping shopping preferences and behaviors, it is not the sole determinant; other elements like economic status, cultural background, and personal values also have a substantial impact.
7.5
band
All children should learn to play a musical instrument at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People have different views on whether it is beneficial to require all students to study musical instruments or not. While studying how to play musical instruments can bring many benefits to these children, I disagree with this view, and I do believe that children should have their own autonomy to make their own choices.
5.5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this present world learning foreign languages, including English, is very popular. Parents force their children to study English for their successful future. I agree that learning English is necessary, however, I also consider people have to know their native language and we should help in this. I will discuss in more detail this statement.
6
band
The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extend do you agree?
It is argued that government supposed to invest a large amount of money on science-based subject. While I share a similar view with essential of funding on science for country development and progress, it is also arguable that government endowment on training other fundamental subjects play an important role for the nation.

Some people think that advertisement between films is wasting time and some people says it has lots of benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealth with locally. Others think that they should be dealth will locally. DIscuss both views and give your opinion

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than on other factors. To what extent you agree or disagree？

All children should learn to play a musical instrument at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extend do you agree?