IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter ● state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this( GYM AUTOMATIC PAYMENT ) ● give details of how you have benefited from the club( LOOSE WEIGHT AND MAKE FRIENDS ● explain why you want to leave( HECTIC SCHDEULE )

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to inform you that I want to discontinue my membership in your local
club
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I took the package of $100 per month, which includes a gym and swimming free training, six months ago and I have set the auto payment method so payment has been detected in my bank account. The
club
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 assisted me in loose my weight and learning a new skill because a
club
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 trainer had given me appropriate training and gave me suggestions about following the proper diet criteria.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I gained a healthy lifestyle.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I was an
introvert
Replace the word
introverted

The word introvert doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 person before indulging in
club
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 activities. Owing to my membership, I have made friends with whom I can share my thoughts.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my primary concern in abandoning the
club
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is that I
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 my goal to learn an adventure activity and lose weight;
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I do not want to waste my money. Despite that, I have a hectic schedule at my workplace so I do not get time for these extracurricular activities. I would be grateful if you would assist me with how I can cease my membership. I await your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Jass

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea clearly. While the letter briefly addresses all necessary points, delving deeper into each aspect with more detailed examples or explanations could enhance clarity and cohesion.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, consider expanding on your reasons for opting out of the club. Mentioning specific instances where your schedule conflicts with club activities could make your explanation more convincing.
Language Proficiency
Polish your grammar and punctuation for a smoother read. Missteps such as 'loose my weight' and 'detected in my bank account' distract from your message. Correct terms would be 'lose my weight' and 'debited from my bank account'.
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