For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter ● state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this( GYM AUTOMATIC PAYMENT ) ● give details of how you have benefited from the club( LOOSE WEIGHT AND MAKE FRIENDS ● explain why you want to leave( HECTIC SCHDEULE )

#year #member #club #membership #secretary #type #gym #payment #weight #friends #schdeule

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to inform you that I want to discontinue my membership in your local

club

. I took the package of $100 per month, which includes a gym and swimming free training, six months ago and I have set the auto payment method so payment has been detected in my bank account. The

club

assisted me in loose my weight and learning a new skill because a

club

trainer had given me appropriate training and gave me suggestions about following the proper diet criteria.

As a result

, I gained a healthy lifestyle.

Moreover

, I was an

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

show examples

person before indulging in

club

activities. Owing to my membership, I have made friends with whom I can share my thoughts.

However

, my primary concern in abandoning the

club

is that I

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

my goal to learn an adventure activity and lose weight;

therefore

, I do not want to waste my money. Despite that, I have a hectic schedule at my workplace so I do not get time for these extracurricular activities. I would be grateful if you would assist me with how I can cease my membership. I await your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Jass

Submitted by jaspreetkaurdasuya on Mon Mar 04 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea clearly. While the letter briefly addresses all necessary points, delving deeper into each aspect with more detailed examples or explanations could enhance clarity and cohesion.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, consider expanding on your reasons for opting out of the club. Mentioning specific instances where your schedule conflicts with club activities could make your explanation more convincing.

Language Proficiency

Polish your grammar and punctuation for a smoother read. Missteps such as 'loose my weight' and 'detected in my bank account' distract from your message. Correct terms would be 'lose my weight' and 'debited from my bank account'.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

200 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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