IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon . summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon . summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
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The given diagrams depict various stages of the life cycle of a giant fish named
as
Change preposition
apply
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salmon
Use synonyms
.
Ovarall
Correct your spelling
Overall
, the
salmon
Use synonyms
 life cycle starts from the
eggs
Use synonyms
 and it grows to become a larger fish in three main stages. Approximately half of the
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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salmon
Use synonyms
 spend in the lower
river
Use synonyms
 and rest in the open sea. In detail, Adult salmons who are 70-76 cm in size
lays
Change the verb form
lay
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eggs
Use synonyms
 in the upper
river
Use synonyms
 where water moves slowly. They
ley
Correct your spelling
lay
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 their
eggs
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 under the reeds and were covered with small stones. It will take approximately 5-6 months to hatch these
eggs
Use synonyms
.
Thereafter
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
apply
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these
eggs
Use synonyms
'
frys
Correct your spelling
fries
are coming
Wrong verb form
come
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 out and they are only 2-8 cm in size.
However
Linking Words
, these frys lived in the lower
river
Use synonyms
 area, where the water
moves
Wrong verb form
moved
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 fast. These frys live for nearly 4 years in
this
Linking Words
 lower
river
Use synonyms
 area to become slightly larger smolt which is approximately 12-15 cm in size.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
stage,
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 they move to
open
Correct article usage
the open
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 sea area to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 and they live in the open sea for nearly 5 years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, eggs, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "moves" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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