as computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

There have been vast advances in technology in most aspects of people's lives,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in the field of education.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, an increasing number of
students
rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online courses. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
of
teachers
in the
classroom
. I totally disagree with
this
concern Some people believe the role of
teachers
started to fade because computers have been helping
students
to progress quicker in their studies
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
original
Add an article
the original
an original
show examples
classroom
.
For example
, in the same
classroom
students
have different intellectual capacities,
thus
, pupils who are more talented need to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
themselves
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the pace of their classmates who are not as gifted as them. These
students
might prefer using
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
instead
of attending
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
and learning from
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
show examples
.
However
, we can not deny the necessity of the
teachers
' presence for
students
because of the positive influences that human contact
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
on them.
Firstly
,
students
realize that they are not dealing with
machine
Correct article usage
a machine
show examples
but with a human being who deserves attention and respect.
Secondly
, they learn the importance of studying in
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
and
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
show examples
other
students
hich
Correct your spelling
which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to improve their social skills.
moreover
,
teachers
are
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
in the learning process because they acknowledge some student's deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same
expelanation
Correct your spelling
explanation
explanations
over and over and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
them
extra
Add an article
an extra
show examples
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
and
excersises
Correct your spelling
exercises
or even suggesting a private tutor so,
students
have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
chance to learn. In conclusion, the role of
teachers
in
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
process is still crucial and it will continue to be in the future. In fact, no machine can replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human interaction and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
consequences.
Submitted by bryan.dasco on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for small typographical errors such as 'Nowaday' which should be 'Nowadays', and 'expelanation' which should be 'explanation'.
Language Range
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your argument more compelling and to showcase a wider range of language skills.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. While you've mentioned how computers can lead to students progressing more quickly, elaborating on this with more specific examples or data could make your position more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, try to use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly lead into each paragraph's main point.
Task Achievement
You have clearly stated your position and maintained it throughout the essay, providing a consistent argument against the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, signaling to the reader what your position is and summarizing your main points well.
Task Achievement
You've provided relevant examples and explanations in support of your argument, such as the importance of human contact and the role teachers play in addressing individual student needs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital learning
  • Personalized guidance
  • Blended learning
  • Remote education
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Human interaction
  • Cultural dimension
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Educational technology
  • Learning outcomes
  • Role model
What to do next:
Look at other essays: