IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets are responsible for reducing the packaging of goods. At the same time, others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #manufacturers #supermarkets #goods #time #customers
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In the contemporary era, One section of society opines that the reduction of packaging of goods should be entirely on producers
whereas
 another section believes that for whom is
produced
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 should not buy
such
items
.
This
 essay will elucidate both viewpoints over subsequent paragraphs extensively. To commence with, the primary reason is manufacturers are responsible for producing goods from the scrap to the end including packaging. To expound more, the majority of the customers prefer attractive gift wraps
instead
 of the item itself which compels producers to spend much on outer beauty
as well as
 forces the store managers to displace these things at the top which has harmful effects on the
environment
 as most
items
 are plastic based.
For
example
, there has been a significant increase in the usage of package material by 5% in 2023 compared to 2% in 2021.
Hence
, the above
example
 gives an idea about the rise in
this
 type of material. Moving
Further
, the reason behind
this
 is everything is based on demand and supply. Consumers can stop purchasing
items
 with excessive wraps. It will promote the conservation of the
environment
. If the buyers leave
such
 goods which would
then
 remain unsold will cease manufactures to produce things with extra wraps as the industries work on the demand which will have positive results on the
environment
 as there is less consumption of plastic material.
For
example
, in case, customers buy things that promote a green
environment
,
then
this
 will motivate manufacturers to produce
such
items
.
Therefore
, the aforementioned explanation and
example
 illustrate the benefits of avoiding buying packaged
items
. To recapitulate,
this
 essay discussed the benefits of avoiding packaging by producers and consumers which will have a positive impact on the
environment
. From my viewpoint, consumers are prioritized by the owners so it will contribute more compared to the former ones.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for introducing the topic, presenting arguments for both views, and your own opinion. Use linking words effectively.
Task Achievement
Include a clearer introduction that directly addresses the topic and presents a brief overview of the essay's structure. The conclusion should summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with more specific, concrete examples and details. While general statements are useful, examples provide evidence that strengthens your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect your ideas more seamlessly. This will make your essay easier to follow and enhance its logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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