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Writing Samples
Band 3

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

#country #study
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There are several positive and negative impacts of living and studying
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
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. Living and studying abroad are big decisions which is urgent to be
rethinking
Wrong verb form
rethought
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. Living and studying abroad are
correctly
Replace the adverb
correct
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 with
people
 who want significant challenges.
However
,
this
 option is not appropriate for
people
 who want to stay in their comfort zone for their lives. There are some good impacts from living and studying abroad.
First,
increase experience living in a foreign
country
. Many fantastic experiences we can get if we live and study abroad.
Second,
enhance language ability. We will interact with local
people
, students, lecturers, etc. It's very powerful for training a foreign language ability.
Third,
having a wide network. We will meet many new
people
 on our campus or in a new environment.
On the contrary
, living and studying in a foreign
country
 has some negative impacts.
First,
we can have a risk of mental health problems. Living abroad can cause culture shock because, generally, there are many cultural differences from the
country
 of origin.
Second,
we can have risky financial problems. For some countries, the cost of living in another
country
 is higher than in the
country
 of origin.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that explains your viewpoint or what the essay will cover. Consider using a structure that introduces the topic, states the main idea, and briefly outlines the points you'll discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen your introduction and conclusion, ensure you have a clear opening statement and a summarizing closing paragraph that reinforces your main points and overall stance on the topic.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples and details to support your points. Specific instances or personal experiences can add depth to your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a clear flow of ideas. One way to do this is to use transitional phrases between paragraphs and within paragraphs to clearly connect your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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