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Band 3.5

The company you work has decided to close the cafeteria, as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director. -Give reason of low usage -How will it affect the staff -Suggest ways to improve it

#company #work #cafeteria #staff #decision #director #-give #reason #usage #-how #-suggest
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is that I want to inform
about
Correct pronoun usage
you about
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importance
Add an article
the importance
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 of our workplace of
cafeteria
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the cafeteria
a cafeteria
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 for staff
as well as
 without high pricing , low productivity and quality . Primarily , staff dislike limited food options
besides
 an uncomfortable arrangement
affectson
Correct your spelling
affects
affects on
affection
 their spirit.
Therefore
 ,they condemn
to go
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going
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 to other places.
On the other hand
, if
cafeteria
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the cafeteria
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 is closed some of
employees
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the employees
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 will hardly object
that
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to that
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 action. I wish
Correct article usage
the feature
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feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 of
cafeteria
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
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 change
positive
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the positive
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 side namely l and my colleagues need to equalize it among the social space.
To sum up
 , l invite you to survey employees about their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
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 and tailor the menu . Yours faithfully, Khayitova Gulbahor
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction to your letter that explicitly states the purpose of your writing. This will help in achieving a better task response.
coherence & cohesion
Make sure to present your arguments in a structured manner, with each paragraph focused on a single point. This improves coherence and cohesion.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your opinions and arguments. This can enhance the effectiveness of your message.
task achievement
Conclude your letter with a clear recommendation or request for action. This can improve the task achievement score.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited food options
  • high pricing
  • inconvenient hours
  • staff morale
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • accessible
  • social space
  • bond
  • cohesive
  • survey employees
  • tailor the menu
  • competitive
  • operating hours
  • renovate
  • inviting
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