IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The company you work has decided to close the cafeteria, as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director. -Give reason of low usage -How will it affect the staff -Suggest ways to improve it

#company #work #cafeteria #staff #decision #director #-give #reason #usage #-how #-suggest
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Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing you is that I want to inform
about
Correct pronoun usage
you about
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importance
Add an article
the importance
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 of our workplace of
cafeteria
Add an article
the cafeteria
a cafeteria
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 for staff
as well as
 without high pricing , low productivity and quality . Primarily , staff dislike limited food options
besides
 an uncomfortable arrangement
affectson
Correct your spelling
affects
affects on
affection
 their spirit.
Therefore
 ,they condemn
to go
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going
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 to other places.
On the other hand
, if
cafeteria
Add an article
the cafeteria
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 is closed some of
employees
Add an article
the employees
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 will hardly object
that
Change preposition
to that
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 action. I wish
Correct article usage
the feature
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feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 of
cafeteria
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
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 change
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 side namely l and my colleagues need to equalize it among the social space.
To sum up
 , l invite you to survey employees about their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
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 and tailor the menu . Yours faithfully, Khayitova Gulbahor
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction to your letter that explicitly states the purpose of your writing. This will help in achieving a better task response.
coherence & cohesion
Make sure to present your arguments in a structured manner, with each paragraph focused on a single point. This improves coherence and cohesion.
coherence & cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your opinions and arguments. This can enhance the effectiveness of your message.
task achievement
Conclude your letter with a clear recommendation or request for action. This can improve the task achievement score.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited food options
  • high pricing
  • inconvenient hours
  • staff morale
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • accessible
  • social space
  • bond
  • cohesive
  • survey employees
  • tailor the menu
  • competitive
  • operating hours
  • renovate
  • inviting
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