IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#repair #buildings #money
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A lot of
money
Use synonyms
need
Wrong verb form
is needed
show examples
 to fix and look after old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and
Linking Words
this fees
Change the determiner
this fee
these fees
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 ought to
save
Wrong verb form
be saved
show examples
up
Rephrase
and spent
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 on luxury
buildings
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
. I tend to disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because of the benefits of conserving old
buildings
Use synonyms
 on the economy, environment, pollution and
people
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's health and it is more economical to conserve
buildings
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, another point is that some old
buildings
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 are historic.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, construction and demolition will produce a lot of industrial waste and it damages the
government
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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when the
government
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 keeps old
buildings
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 it saves too much
money
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 and the
government
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 might
be spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
it into
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into
Change preposition
on
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 the processing environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, during construction air
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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pollution especially affects
people
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 living around and when pollution is
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
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Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 health is better and the
government
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 will not waste
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 medical costs. Another point to consider is that
improvement
Replace the word
improving
show examples
 and keeping ancient
buildings
Use synonyms
 pays out
money
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 and
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 should
be invest
Change the verb form
be invested
be investing
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new
buildings
Use synonyms
 and in my opinion, the
government
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 should spend too much
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 keeping safe and
repair
Wrong verb form
repairing
show examples
 old
buildings
Use synonyms
 actually crucial places in
this
Linking Words
 case, historic
buildings
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 or traditional houses because they are old and ancient and it is very important for keeping them. A good reason for
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 If some old
buildings
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demolition
Wrong verb form
are demolished
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 and construction modern
buildings
Use synonyms
Linking Words
instead
Add a missing verb
are instead
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. Including, many old
buildings
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 are broken down or the
government
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 might be developing and transforming a
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 and constructing luxury
buildings
Use synonyms
 or skyscrapers.
Finally
Linking Words
, In general, I tend to disagree because it is a more economical project and it might be damaging
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment and
people
Use synonyms
's health.
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coherence cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay more clearly, dividing it into paragraphs each representing a single main idea supported by examples or explanations. A clear introduction and conclusion are also crucial.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to fully address the prompt by more thoroughly exploring both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Elaborate more on how your examples support your stance.
language
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency. Avoiding repetition of phrases and grammar errors will also boost your score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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