Today,more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #people #visit

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No one can deny that visiting

gangerous

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dangerous

places

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has become

mor

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important nowadays

although

Linking Words

some

people

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have

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

opinion and they think that it is not

essentioal

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essential

for us.

However

Linking Words

, it is good to say that everything in our life has advantages and

disadvanteges

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disadvantages

. Whatever the reason, a large number of

idividuals

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individuals

belive

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believe

show examples

that there are several pros to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

journy

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journey

in deserts or

challenges

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challenging

show examples

places

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there

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are

show examples

a few

researchs

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research

researches

and

articals releated

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articles related

to difficult

places

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, so when any scientist

Correct subject-verb agreement

goes

show examples

there they will

spreed

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spread

new photos or information

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show examples

any programme that

which

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apply

show examples

helps other

people

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to know about

this

Linking Words

place and visit it.

For example

Linking Words

befor

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before

thousnds

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thousands

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of eyers

show examples

eyers

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eyes

show examples

no one knew about

USA

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the USA

show examples

and when Columbus discovered it a huge number of visitors went there.

moreover

Linking Words

, there are many

people

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live

Correct pronoun usage

who live

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

places

Use synonyms

and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

do not know anything about other cultures

for

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apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

visiting them will lead to support and

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

them about

others

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others'

other's

show examples

customs and what

happend

Wrong verb form

is happening

show examples

in the world. And they say that all these

benifits

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benefits

affect our

life

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lives

show examples

On the other hand

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, there is a large army of humans

protest

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protesting

show examples

that the cons of

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being

show examples

in a

terribal

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terrible

area are much

than

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more than

show examples

its pros. First of all, in some closed

Use synonyms

places

Add a comma

places,

show examples

the

popullation

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population

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

little information about

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

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, so when any new person

visit

Correct subject-verb agreement

visits

show examples

them they feel scared and

protuct themselve

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protect themselves

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from

show examples

dangerous tools which

threatens

Correct subject-verb agreement

threaten

show examples

the

visitors

Change to a genitive case

visitor's

visitors'

show examples

life. All in all, visiting dangerous

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

is good because it helps to discover new

places

Use synonyms

and understand other

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

, but

people

Use synonyms

should think about the other point of view.

Submitted by hafsaalbadi199 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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task achievement

Focus on clarifying and developing your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should present a clear main idea, followed by explanations and specific examples. Avoid general statements without support.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline the essay's structure, and the conclusion should summarize the key points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical structuring of your essay by linking ideas and paragraphs through cohesive devices (e.g., transition words). This makes the progression of your argument easier to follow.

task achievement

Work on spelling, grammar, and vocabulary accuracy. Mistakes in these areas can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your ideas. Consider practicing these aspects of the English language to improve overall essay quality.

task achievement

Use relevant, specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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The average time taken to manufacture transport at their factories located in US by 4 car companies from 1998 to 2005 is depicted by the given illustration.