Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is irrefutable that
television
is one of the most important inventions of modern science, which plays a significant role not only in society but also
in fostering children
's attitudes. However
, watching television
excessively causes some problems relating to physical and mental ability. Therefore
, I completely agree with this
notion, and I will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, nowadays, children
tend to spend their maximum time watching television
, and this
is because their parents are mostly engaged in their professional careers rather than appropriate parenting. For example
, in Bangladesh, most working women decide to keep their children
either in the house with a technological gadget like a television
or to allocate their children
to a daycare centre. On top of that, the children
who are addicted badly to watching television
have been experiencing various types of physical issues like obesity and social anxiety. Therefore
, the children
have not been interested in making new relationships with other people because of their social fears.
On the other hand
, watching television
may help them increase their mental aptitude as they can easily get the latest information around the globe. In other words
, the more information children
gain by watching television
, the more success they will gain in their future personal and professional lives. In addition
to that, children
may be able to acquire life skills like cooking and sports by watching television
in their spare time, and this
is why it is true that watching television
is good for children
to some extent.
In conclusion, watching television
in a limited way may help children
improve their life skills. I firmly believe that children
will face stiff challenges such
as social anxiety and mental disorders in their future lives if they spend most of their time watching television
.Submitted by faisalmahamood on
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Task response
To improve task response, ensure a balanced approach when addressing the topic. Your essay leans heavily towards the negative aspect without fully exploring the conditions under which watching television could be beneficial. Providing a more nuanced view can enhance your task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to link ideas more smoothly. This could involve adding more transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument, making your overall structure more compelling and easier to follow.
Task achievement
In terms of task achievement, including more specific examples or data to back up your points can make your arguments more convincing. While you provide general examples, incorporating detailed instances or statistics could further strengthen your case and improve the relevance and specificity of your examples.