Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is irrefutable that
television
is one of the most important inventions of modern science, which plays a significant role not only in society but Use synonyms
also
in fostering Linking Words
children
's attitudes. Use synonyms
However
, watching Linking Words
television
excessively causes some problems relating to physical and mental ability. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I completely agree with Linking Words
this
notion, and I will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, nowadays, Linking Words
children
tend to spend their maximum time watching Use synonyms
television
, and Use synonyms
this
is because their parents are mostly engaged in their professional careers rather than appropriate parenting. Linking Words
For example
, in Bangladesh, most working women decide to keep their Linking Words
children
either in the house with a technological gadget like a Use synonyms
television
or to allocate their Use synonyms
children
to a daycare centre. On top of that, the Use synonyms
children
who are addicted badly to watching Use synonyms
television
have been experiencing various types of physical issues like obesity and social anxiety. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the Linking Words
children
have not been interested in making new relationships with other people because of their social fears.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, watching Linking Words
television
may help them increase their mental aptitude as they can easily get the latest information around the globe. Use synonyms
In other words
, the more information Linking Words
children
gain by watching Use synonyms
television
, the more success they will gain in their future personal and professional lives. Use synonyms
In addition
to that, Linking Words
children
may be able to acquire life skills like cooking and sports by watching Use synonyms
television
in their spare time, and Use synonyms
this
is why it is true that watching Linking Words
television
is good for Use synonyms
children
to some extent.
In conclusion, watching Use synonyms
television
in a limited way may help Use synonyms
children
improve their life skills. I firmly believe that Use synonyms
children
will face stiff challenges Use synonyms
such
as social anxiety and mental disorders in their future lives if they spend most of their time watching Linking Words
television
.Use synonyms
Submitted by faisalmahamood on
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Task response
To improve task response, ensure a balanced approach when addressing the topic. Your essay leans heavily towards the negative aspect without fully exploring the conditions under which watching television could be beneficial. Providing a more nuanced view can enhance your task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, while your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to link ideas more smoothly. This could involve adding more transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument, making your overall structure more compelling and easier to follow.
Task achievement
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