IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
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globalisation,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has been an important aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 modern era, most of the population, especially youngsters have been using it for the
use
Use synonyms
 of,
for example
Linking Words
, study and social.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss whether or not improving internet access is more important for governments to invest
than
Change preposition
in than
show examples
 improving public
transportation
Use synonyms
. In Indonesia, massive infrastructure projects develop,
such
Linking Words
 as roads. The government is actively building toll roads and approximately 73% of it is operating now for populations to
use
Use synonyms
. In Jakarta, they are continuing the growth of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 for the community to
use
Use synonyms
, including but not limited to buses and trains.
However
Linking Words
, as an archipelago country, there are a lot of small islands
surround
Wrong verb form
surrounding
show examples
 Indonesia and many small cities that
lacks
Change the verb form
lack
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
. In an interview, there was a student who asked why their place
lacks
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
 public transport. The lack of
this
Linking Words
 facility affects their education since they have to pay for a driver to send them to school.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the developed countries provide transport for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 as it is very convenient and safe. Owning vehicles is good,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, it increases the air
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in cities and
volume
Correct article usage
the volume
show examples
 of the road which
basically
Add a missing verb
is basically
show examples
 not a win-win solution.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is the reason why the government should consider the development of
transportation
Use synonyms
 for a better environment. In conclusion, internet access is beneficial but
however
Linking Words
,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 government must urge the development of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 for the prosperity of mankind.

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task achievement
Focus on answering the prompt directly and clearly. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. While your conclusion restates this, the body paragraphs should consistently support this stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of the paragraph support that idea. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, utilize transition words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between ideas, paragraphs, and sections of your essay. This will help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that support your main points directly. Examples should clearly illustrate your argument and be related closely to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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