Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?

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Although
the
health
sectors are improving, the physical
health
of many
people
especially in developing nations is still declining.
This
essay will discuss how
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle and unhealthy eating
habits
can affect
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of individuals and how can exercise help solve
this
. One of the reasons for the decline in
health
in many countries is because of a sedentary lifestyle.
People
nowadays either play games or update their social media accounts in the comfort of their beds. And
this
lack of physical activity can be detrimental to
health
.
In addition
, unhealthy eating
habits
also
contribute to many
health
problems. Most
people
with busy schedules are eating fast food because it is convenient and there is no preparation needed.
However
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
poor eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
can lead to problems
such
as obesity and heart disease.
For instance
, most nurses in the Philippines are eating fast food because they do not have time to prepare their meals because of their busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
.
Thus
, sedentary behaviour and poor eating
habits
are detrimental to
health
. Despite these issues, it can be addressed by promoting exercise. Physical activity can burn unwanted fats in the body, help improve the function of the heart, and improve the
overall
health
of individuals. Physical activities can be implemented in schools and workplaces.
For instance
, school officials can implement regular exercise routines before starting their classes.
Also
, employers can give incentives to employees who use the stairs rather than the elevator.
Thus
, incorporating physical activity into the daily routine can help improve the well-being of
people
. In conclusion, despite the improvement in healthcare, the physical
health
of most individuals is still declining because of their sedentary lifestyle and poor eating
habits
.
However
, I believe that exercising can be a good measure to rescue the failing
health
of the community.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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Task Response
Enhance the development of your main points by providing more varied and detailed examples. Real-world statistics, studies, or broader examples could strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on integrating a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to improve the flow of your essay. This will make your arguments clearer and more cohesive to the reader.
Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that every part of the question is fully addressed. Include a more thorough analysis or discussion on potential solutions or interventions beyond exercise, as the question asks for reasons and 'how the problem can be tackled', indicating the need for a variety of solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of physical health
  • developed countries
  • falling
  • lifestyle changes
  • unhealthy habits
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • lack of physical activity
  • fast food
  • unhealthy diets
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • environmental factors
  • lack of education
  • awareness
  • government policies
  • regulations
  • promotion of healthy habits
  • awareness campaigns
  • stricter regulations
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • physical activity
  • exercise programs
  • balanced diet
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