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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The culture of different places are now looking similar in modern times. What do you think are the causes of this? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#culture #places #times #trend
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The cultural etiquette of various places looks exactly the same in modern times. The primary causes of
this
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 might be city planners of different economic and commerce hubs throughout the
world
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, employing similar
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architecture
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architectural
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 styles, and
also
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, currently we live in a globalized village where
ideas
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 travel at near light speed,
similarly
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 the
culture
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 in
this
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 globalised village travels from
one
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 economic hub to another, and the successful
ideas
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 are
emmulated
Correct your spelling
emulated
 by all the other cultures across
this
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world
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. I believe
this
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 has been a positive trend, as people from diverse backgrounds have something in common across
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 globe. In the 1920s when the Empire State Building was built, it was the envy of the
world
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, as it was the tallest man-made structure till
then
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, as city planners saw the potential of high-rise buildings it began a spree of construction to build tall buildings.
Hence
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, as
culture
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 flows downwards from the elites and the intellectuals,
this
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 fascination with a particular
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architecture
Replace the word
architectural
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 style spread throughout the
world
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,
along with
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 it a
similar looking
Add a hyphen
similar-looking
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culture
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 around the
world
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.
For example
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, in UAE the tallest building in the
world
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 Burj-Khalifa was designed by a firm in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. So,
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culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
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 of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 flowed into
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
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 through its
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architecture
Replace the word
architectural
show examples
 style. Presently, with the acceptance of digital media,
ideas
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 from
one
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 part of the
world
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 spread to another part of the
world
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 like wildfire,
along with
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 the idea, the creator's identity and
culture
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,
also
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 flow
along with
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 the idea, causing successful
ideas
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 from
one
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 part of the
world
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 to be
emmulated
Correct your spelling
emulated
 by the other parts of the
world
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.
For example
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 when chatGPT was launched, the idea of the neural network implemented by the company spread across the globe, producing KisaanGPT a large language model for farmers in India.
Therefore
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, I believe that
such
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 interactions between diverse
background
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backgrounds
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 of people in past times
,
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apply
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 would be unheard of, but in present times
this
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 has produced many
oppurtunities
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opportunities
 and irrespective of
one
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's socioeconomic background, they find commonality with a person
half-way
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halfway
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 across the continent. In conclusion, the
culture
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 of various places looks the same
due to
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 similar
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architecture
Replace the word
architectural
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 styles and
due to
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 similar beliefs that people hold caused by mass acceptance of digital media, and
this
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 has uplifted the masses irrespective of the background they come from.
Submitted by duttpavan on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all aspects of the task. Discussing the causes and evaluating whether it's a positive or negative trend more distinctly could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly between paragraphs. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas for a smoother reader experience.
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