IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Opinion School Children should choose the subjects they study from a young age and stop doing subjects they find uninteresting." How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays, many believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should select
subjects
Use synonyms
 they study from a young age, and cease to learn
subjects
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 they consider
uninterisiting
Correct your spelling
uninteresting
.
This
Linking Words
 essay entirely agrees with
this
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 statement, because of the intention that drives them to learn what they want, and a deep dedication of time which is needed to master a certain skill.
To begin
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, many
children
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 try to make an immersion
to
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in
show examples
subjects
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 that mostly inspire them.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 every living human in
this
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 world has a common sensation or perception which is clearly
refered
Correct your spelling
referred
 to
a
Correct your spelling
as
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 dopamine. Dopamine is an internal sense that induces individuals to
sought for
Wrong verb form
seek
show examples
 factors that eventually deliver desired outcomes and utmost pleasure. And, many
children
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 in the period of adolescence tend to have a vast proportion of dopamine which leads them to be engaged with a singular
subject
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 during long years.
That is
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 why, students do not even want to disturb themselves about marginal
subjects
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 because they can not procure
a pleasing advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
pleasing advantages
a pleasing advantage
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 to outweigh their favourable
subjects
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. To
enumurate
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enumerate
, Elon Musk the director of
car
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a car
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manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
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 company once declared that, all his success in
Correct article usage
the manufacture
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manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
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 field is totally imputed to engineering
subjects
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 that he learnt
in
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at
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 young age.
On the other hand
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, a huge collection of
subjects
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 may not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to
highten
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higher
heighten
tighten
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 every
subject
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 in
school
Correct article usage
the school
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cirriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 demands a deep dedication of time to reach
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
perfection. And, being occupied by
handful
Add an article
a handful
show examples
 of
subjects
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 can clearly interfere with it.
Moreover
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, students
mastered
Correct pronoun usage
who mastered
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 certain
subjects
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 might have more odds
to apply
Change preposition
of applying
show examples
 them in later life, and more likelihood
to be
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of being
show examples
 employed.
That is
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 why, becoming an expert
of
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on
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 one
subject
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 is far more beneficial rather than having low educational skills, by not completely acquiring knowledge.
For example
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, James Clear an author of many books, has become an expert on habits, by focusing on single
subjects
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 related to psychology. In conclusion, many believe that students should learn one
specefic
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specific
subject
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 from a young age and neglect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uninteristing
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uninteresting
interesting
 ones,
This
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 essay totally supports
this
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 declaration, because of the intention that excites
children
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 to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 that inspire them, and time devotion which is crucial to master one singular
subject
Use synonyms
.

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logical structure
Ensure more effective paragraphing and clearer transition phrases between ideas. This will greatly improve the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
While the introduction and conclusion are present, refine them for a stronger impact by more directly addressing the question and clearly stating your main argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with more varied and detailed examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
complete response
Address all parts of the task more fully. While you provide a clear position, expanding on the implications and considering counterarguments might enrich your response.
clear comprehensive ideas
To communicate your ideas more clearly and comprehensively, focus on structuring sentences and paragraphs in a way that logically progresses your arguments.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments. This will add depth and relevancy to your essay, making your points more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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