In the past most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and the smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

nowadays, technology
revolutionize
Change the verb form
revolutionizes
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every aspect of life.
while
some
people
believe that with the born of these digital gadgets life becomes more
advance
Correct word choice
advanced
show examples
and
people
do their
work
in the comfort of their zone rather than going to
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
. in my view, both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
pros and cons and will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
this
essay There are several factors that
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
the idea of using technology when sitting at home.
firstly
, the distance of communication become closer and
one
can easily talk to their friend and family but in past,
people
used to travel for days to reach their destination
secondly
, with the use of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
cell phones,
one
can update themselves not only to the boundaries of their country but
also
attain the information worldwide with just
one
click
however
, back in the days,
people
used phones just for the talk which is the only function available at that time
moreover
lastly
, with the new version of computers manufacturing at the alarming rate, the complex calculation and problems are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
easier to deal with. take
nvidia
Change the capitalization
Nvidia
show examples
as an example, within every three months they bring
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
ner version of
micro chips
Correct your spelling
microchips
show examples
which are better and faster than previous
as a result
save
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of time
hence
, these are some of the
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
of using technology when at home
on the other hand
, there are some drawbacks too when using these new devices primarily, in the past
people
were healthy both mentally and physically but now the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
these devices
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them weaker which directly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
their health
in addition
,
people
are getting obese and
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
difficulty in their concentration when doing
work
which is
also
one
of its drawback
therefore
, a balance should
be maintain
Change the verb form
be maintained
show examples
when using these electronic gadgets in conclusion,
work
has become
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
easier than in the past because of new devices
such
as computers and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
that includes gap
shortning
Correct your spelling
shortening
of communication and getting information about
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
while
problems of overweight and health which affect them greatly in my opinion
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
outweigh the
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Focus on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs: Introduction, body paragraphs (each having a single main idea), and conclusion. This helps in making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
Clarity
Present your ideas and arguments clearly and concisely. Make sure each body paragraph centers around a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations.
Language
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabularies to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your linguistic capabilities.
Balanced Response
In terms of task achievement, ensure you address both parts of the question equally - discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail.
Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • virtual collaboration
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • flexibility
  • commuting
  • isolation
  • disconnect
  • coordination
  • boundaries
  • distractions
  • remote work
What to do next:
Look at other essays: