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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming, interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people resarch this?

Nowadays, a
lot
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 of
people
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 around the world are keen on investigating the history of their houses. Most of them do
this
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 activity to be aware of the safety of their building
due to
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 the importance of its age,
while
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 others do that as a hobby. The convenient way to find out about the history of a neighbourhood is the elderly
people
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 in that area , and
also
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 local government
documents
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.
To begin
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 with, the safety of the residential building is a crucial issue. The first vital factor is finding out when it was built.
This
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 simple
information
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 can be useful for residents. They know the weakness of the building.
Therefore
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, they can assess the current condition of the building. If it needs repair, they will fix it before it gets worse.
In addition
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, some of the buildings are historical, and most
people
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 consider
this
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 kind of study as entertainment. They try to find new
information
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 about their building, and usually share it with the rest of the
people
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.
For instance
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, a young boy in the UK searched for the history of their home. He realised that they live in a 200-year-old building, and with more searching in the garden, he found a
lot
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 of historical coins.
Although
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this
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information
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 is beneficial, they are not easily accessible. First of all, government
documents
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 are valuable resources. Because most of the buildings have ownership
documents
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, they are easy to track.
Secondly
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, just for younger buildings, elderly
people
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 in each local community are helpful. They were usually born and grew up there. So, they have witnessed all the changes in that area. They have a
lot
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 of
information
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, and they can provide a
lot
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 of details.
To conclude
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, safety and hobbies are two important things that made
people
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 pursue
this
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 issue, and old
people
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 and official
documents
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 are the main references.

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content
Plan your essay before writing. List two reasons and how you will explain them.
structure
Use a clear start for each paragraph. Put a topic sentence at the start.
language
Link ideas with short words like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'however' to make flow.
language
Keep to simple grammar. Use small, steady phrases.
content
Give more exact examples to back your points.
content
Idea that safety is a reason to learn the home history is clear.
content
The essay mentions how old papers can help.
structure
There is an effort to give a real example.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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