Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
In
this
competitive society, parents
are exerting immense pressure
on their children to be academically and professionally successful. While
this
can be an efficient measure in forming children’s future prospects and personality to a certain extent, it may lead to several severe consequences.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that pressure
is crucial during parenting progress. Pressure
plays an important role in generating motivation amongst the young, which will keep them moving forward in the long run. Conversely
, a child who is
raised in an overly relaxed environment without any expectations Correct subject-verb agreement
are
tends
to lose their learning momentum easily and find it difficult to achieve their goal easily because they are not trained enough to be capable of coping with difficulties. Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
Moreover
, sufficient pressure
can dramatically contribute to the children’s ability. Through firm teaching methods from their parents
, they can build their own strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
as well as
develop necessary skills namely critical thinking and problem-solving ability, which are highly valued in the labor
market. Change the spelling
labour
This
will render them a dominant candidate when applying for jobs.
On the other hand
, pressure
may have a reverse effect on the young when it is not kept to a sufficient extent. When the children cannot bear the strain or meet the unreasonably high standards set by their parents
, they will become either more turbulent or more self-contained. The former group can have inappropriate behaviors
against their Change the spelling
behaviours
parents
while
the latter one may suffer from autism, or depression leading to suicidal thoughts. In addition
, a great amount of pressure
can also
severely damage the parent-child relationship, as it may give rise to a misunderstanding between family members. Children may perceive their parents
as overly critical and demanding ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
the parents
just want the best for them. This
results in an adverse impact on the young’s personality growth and happiness.
To recapitulate, while
pressure
is vital during parenting progress, parents
should ensure that the level of expectation does not exceed the children’s endurance.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both parts of the task - reasons for parental pressure and its consequences - which is essential for a high score in task response. However, adding more specific examples or real-life scenarios could further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the overall structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. This would help in setting a more precise roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
At times, there are traces of repetition in your supporting points. Using varied vocabulary and more sophisticated sentence structures could enhance coherence and give a more polished feel to your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
You effectively present a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of parental pressure. This comprehensive approach is commendable.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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