Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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competitive society,
parents
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are exerting immense
pressure
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on their children to be academically and professionally successful.
While
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this
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can be an efficient measure in forming children’s future prospects and personality to a certain extent, it may lead to several severe consequences. On the one hand, it is undeniable that
pressure
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is crucial during parenting progress.
Pressure
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plays an important role in generating motivation amongst the young, which will keep them moving forward in the long run.
Conversely
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, a child who
is
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are
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raised in an overly relaxed environment without any expectations
tends
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tend
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to lose their learning momentum easily and find it difficult to achieve their goal easily because they are not trained enough to be capable of coping with difficulties.
Moreover
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, sufficient
pressure
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can dramatically contribute to the children’s ability. Through firm teaching methods from their
parents
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, they can build their own
strength
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strengths
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as well as
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develop necessary skills namely critical thinking and problem-solving ability, which are highly valued in the
labor
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labour
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market.
This
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will render them a dominant candidate when applying for jobs.
On the other hand
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,
pressure
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may have a reverse effect on the young when it is not kept to a sufficient extent. When the children cannot bear the strain or meet the unreasonably high standards set by their
parents
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, they will become either more turbulent or more self-contained. The former group can have inappropriate
behaviors
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behaviours
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against their
parents
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while
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the latter one may suffer from autism, or depression leading to suicidal thoughts.
In addition
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, a great amount of
pressure
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can
also
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severely damage the parent-child relationship, as it may give rise to a misunderstanding between family members. Children may perceive their
parents
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as overly critical and demanding
ones
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apply
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while
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the
parents
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just want the best for them.
This
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results in an adverse impact on the young’s personality growth and happiness. To recapitulate,
while
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pressure
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is vital during parenting progress,
parents
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should ensure that the level of expectation does not exceed the children’s endurance.
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both parts of the task - reasons for parental pressure and its consequences - which is essential for a high score in task response. However, adding more specific examples or real-life scenarios could further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the overall structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. This would help in setting a more precise roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
At times, there are traces of repetition in your supporting points. Using varied vocabulary and more sophisticated sentence structures could enhance coherence and give a more polished feel to your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
You effectively present a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of parental pressure. This comprehensive approach is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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