In many countries, prison is the solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with better education so that they will not become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#in #countries #prison #crime #people #education #criminals

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Several countries around the globe adopted the idea that imprisonment is the best way to tackle violence.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, others thought that providing better

education

Use synonyms

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

eliminate crimes in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with the latter view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the practical solutions to

adress

Correct your spelling

address

crimes within the

society

Use synonyms

is to promote

education

Use synonyms

among downtrodden

people

Use synonyms

. In detail,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty is the major reason for increasing crime within the community. It is true that several crimes are committed for

fullfilling

Correct your spelling

fulfilling

family needs and paying bills. As a solution, providing

education

Use synonyms

and job training for these

people

Use synonyms

may

enables

Wrong verb form

enable

show examples

better job opportunities. By doing

this

Linking Words

violence rate can be significantly reduced which is beneficial for the country.

Similarly

Linking Words

, since

education

Use synonyms

will provide not only awareness about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime but only

importance

Correct article usage

the importance

show examples

of respect

other's

Change preposition

for other's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and properties,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

would

away

Add a missing verb

be away

show examples

from criminal activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

usage

Correct article usage

the usage

show examples

of illegal drugs is one of the obvious reasons behind the anti-social mindset of the

people

Use synonyms

, especially among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters.

By educating

Change preposition

Educating

show examples

them about the side

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

of illegal drugs, and

support

Wrong verb form

supporting

show examples

them

for

Change preposition

show examples

rehabilitation,

undoubtably

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

show examples

imporve

Correct your spelling

improves

the security of the

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

anti-drug

Add an article

an anti-drug

the anti-drug

show examples

program in Alaska declined the domestic violence rate

for

Change preposition

over

show examples

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

few years.

Besides

Linking Words

, academic

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

will provide a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

environment for the

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

who

had

Verb problem

are

show examples

in the clutches of anti-social groups. In conclusion, promoting

education

Use synonyms

for downtrodden

people

Use synonyms

will decrease the crime rate. awareness about the usage of drugs and rehabilitation would

imporve

Correct your spelling

improve

the security of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. Ergo, I believe that

education

Use synonyms

is the practical way to reduce criminalism within

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Submitted by ck.manshad on Tue Mar 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure a clear thesis statement that summarizes your main point in the introduction. This makes your stance unmistakably clear to the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use varied sentence structures and transitions to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Supporting Main Points

Support your points with more specific examples or data, as this strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.

Task Response

Address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you are taking a clear stance. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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In many countries, prison is the solution to the problem of crime. However, another effective way is to provide people with better education so that they will not become criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?