Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Humans are social
animal
, Fix the agreement mistake
animals
it
means that Correct pronoun usage
which
people
need people
. Networking and socializing is
very important for every segment Change the verb form
are
in
Change preposition
of
the
society. Spending evenings and weekends with colleagues, some may argue is important. I strongly disagree to a certain pointCorrect article usage
apply
,
but will agree formal networking can be done occasionally.
Spending evenings and weekends with the same Remove the comma
apply
people
whom
we spend the entire day is not a good idea. As Change preposition
with whom
people
do have families,relatives and close ones, and
we need to give time to them Correct word choice
apply
also
, to build a close connection. For instance
, a person who if
only spends time with Correct word choice
apply
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
office
mates, then
how further
networking can be done with his family, neighbours and relatives.
It will eventually become boring for the person himself or herself.
Change the punctuation
?
On the other hand
, meeting occasionally with office
pupils is not a
idea, Change the article
an
whereas
office
life is considered somewhat a professional life, where everyone is
Unnecessary verb
apply
behaviouring
very cautiously, to maintain a strict code of conduct and networking with Correct your spelling
behaviour
same
Correct article usage
the same
people
will be a kind of odd relationship and can create uneven situation or events, as in socialising we are not following any strict lines of codes.
Formal lunches and dinners are also
necessary with pupils working in one workplace, where families can have time to meet and mingle with each other. It will definitely help office
mates to understand each other and have a good working relationship.
To sum up
, spending evenings and weekend
with the Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
office
mate will be a
boring, as professional and personal Correct article usage
apply
lifes
are very much different. Occasional formal meetups should be organized to help colleagues have a good working relationship.Correct your spelling
lives
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coherence cohesion
Consider introducing a clearer structure by starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each view separately before concluding with your opinion. This will enhance the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views presented in the question with equal depth and provide a clear, well-supported opinion. Incorporating more relevant examples from your own experience or observations can also strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a range of linking words to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay more fluid and engaging to read.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your score in supported main points, substantiate your points with more detailed examples and explanations. This can include drawing on more specific personal experiences or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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