You have some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.
Dear Tim
How are you? I hope you are satisfied and enjoy my
last
special family event.
I am writing you a letter to inform that
I really liked your photos and they are just myth. First of all, I really appreciate and respect your work. Until now I have never seen Correct pronoun usage
you that
such
wonderful pictures and a person who is a master of his work.
I want to ask you something?
There are many Change the punctuation
.
party
in my house. So I need a skilled photographer Change to a plural noun
parties
as
you. Change preposition
like
In addition
to this
, not only me,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
my family members liked your work. Furthermore
, my colleagues are also
asking me about you. Taking everything into account, I ask you to be a photographer not only for one holiday
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for all holiday
.
Next week my daughter Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
want
to celebrate her birthday. Change the verb form
wants
Besides
, she is graduating school
and wants to celebrate it in a memorable way. By the way, she is planning her party on 21 July. Change preposition
from school
Attend
Wrong verb form
Attending
such
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
holiday
will be a golden opportunity. By all means, the holiday
will be in the evening.
Finally
, I would love it if you could come to my house.
Warm wishes
ShaxrizodaSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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Tone
Try to maintain a consistent and professional tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'they are just myth' may confuse the reader about what you mean. Aim for clear and direct language that accurately conveys your message.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Ensure that transitions are clearer, which will help the reader follow your points more easily. Examples include using phrases like 'In addition to this,' which you've used well, but more consistently throughout.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure that each paragraph revolves around a single idea or request for easier readability. For instance, when mentioning your satisfaction with the previous event's photos, keep all related thoughts in one paragraph and separate details about the future event into another.
Task Completion
While your response to the task is mostly complete, adding more details about the event (e.g., specific times, the event’s significance beyond a birthday and graduation, expected number of guests) could enhance your task achievement score.
Grammar & Accuracy
Proofread to catch and correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a higher score. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of punctuation.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite