You have some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.

#photos #photographer #event

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Dear Tim How are you? I hope you are satisfied and enjoy my

last

Linking Words

special family event. I am writing you a letter to inform

that

Correct pronoun usage

you that

show examples

I really liked your photos and they are just myth. First of all, I really appreciate and respect your work. Until now I have never seen

such

Linking Words

wonderful pictures and a person who is a master of his work. I want to ask you something

Change the punctuation

show examples

There are many

party

Change to a plural noun

parties

show examples

in my house. So I need a skilled photographer

Change preposition

show examples

you.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, not only me

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

my family members liked your work.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, my colleagues are

also

Linking Words

asking me about you. Taking everything into account, I ask you to be a photographer not only for one

holiday

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

for all

Use synonyms

holiday

Fix the agreement mistake

holidays

show examples

. Next week my daughter

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to celebrate her birthday.

Besides

Linking Words

, she is graduating

school

Change preposition

from school

show examples

and wants to celebrate it in a memorable way. By the way, she is planning her party on 21 July.

Attend

Wrong verb form

Attending

show examples

such

Linking Words

wonderful

Correct article usage

a wonderful

show examples

holiday

Use synonyms

will be a golden opportunity. By all means, the

holiday

Use synonyms

will be in the evening.

Finally

Linking Words

, I would love it if you could come to my house. Warm wishes Shaxrizoda

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Mar 05 2024

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Tone

Try to maintain a consistent and professional tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'they are just myth' may confuse the reader about what you mean. Aim for clear and direct language that accurately conveys your message.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Ensure that transitions are clearer, which will help the reader follow your points more easily. Examples include using phrases like 'In addition to this,' which you've used well, but more consistently throughout.

Paragraph Structure

Ensure that each paragraph revolves around a single idea or request for easier readability. For instance, when mentioning your satisfaction with the previous event's photos, keep all related thoughts in one paragraph and separate details about the future event into another.

Task Completion

While your response to the task is mostly complete, adding more details about the event (e.g., specific times, the event’s significance beyond a birthday and graduation, expected number of guests) could enhance your task achievement score.

Grammar & Accuracy

Proofread to catch and correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a higher score. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of punctuation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

199 words

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You have some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?