You have some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter: Say that you liked their photos of your family Ask them to be your photographer at a special family event Give them the details of the event.

Dear Tim How are you? I hope you are satisfied and enjoy my
last
special family event. I am writing you a letter to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
show examples
I really liked your photos and they are just myth. First of all, I really appreciate and respect your work. Until now I have never seen
such
wonderful pictures and a person who is a master of his work. I want to ask you something
?
Change the punctuation
.
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There are many
party
Change to a plural noun
parties
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in my house. So I need a skilled photographer
as
Change preposition
like
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you.
In addition
to
this
, not only me
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
my family members liked your work.
Furthermore
, my colleagues are
also
asking me about you. Taking everything into account, I ask you to be a photographer not only for one
holiday
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
for all
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
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. Next week my daughter
want
Change the verb form
wants
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to celebrate her birthday.
Besides
, she is graduating
school
Change preposition
from school
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and wants to celebrate it in a memorable way. By the way, she is planning her party on 21 July.
Attend
Wrong verb form
Attending
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such
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
show examples
holiday
will be a golden opportunity. By all means, the
holiday
will be in the evening.
Finally
, I would love it if you could come to my house. Warm wishes Shaxrizoda
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Tone
Try to maintain a consistent and professional tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'they are just myth' may confuse the reader about what you mean. Aim for clear and direct language that accurately conveys your message.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Ensure that transitions are clearer, which will help the reader follow your points more easily. Examples include using phrases like 'In addition to this,' which you've used well, but more consistently throughout.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure that each paragraph revolves around a single idea or request for easier readability. For instance, when mentioning your satisfaction with the previous event's photos, keep all related thoughts in one paragraph and separate details about the future event into another.
Task Completion
While your response to the task is mostly complete, adding more details about the event (e.g., specific times, the event’s significance beyond a birthday and graduation, expected number of guests) could enhance your task achievement score.
Grammar & Accuracy
Proofread to catch and correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for a higher score. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of punctuation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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