Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many schools of thought have been advocating for more elders to loosen their authority
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
their
children
.
However
, others pose that
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
should be taught
in being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
polite and obedient to their parent's and teacher's set of
rules
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will dwell upon both of these
opinions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
then
elaborate on why I think the latter option is more suitable for the construction of a better
society
. First and foremost, it is important for
children
to be aware that parents and teachers are figures of authority.
Therefore
,
to acknowledge
Change the verb form
acknowledging
show examples
and
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
show examples
them by following their
rules
, certainly
hone
Correct subject-verb agreement
hones
show examples
and
cultivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
cultivates
show examples
paramount values
such
as discipline and respect; which are not alien to
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
contexts in life,
for example
, work or university. Acting towards obeying or at least respecting
rules
, are part of what it means to live in a civilized
society
. If
children
do not comply with
such
minimal aspects, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
fixed
Change the verb form
fix
be fixed
show examples
their mindset into not respecting laws in general
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and could generate irremediable consequences
such
as being involved in
delicuency
Correct your spelling
delinquency
deficiency
.
This
could be illustrated by a recent study made by VOX, where the major crime rates were committed by juveniles, who had not been involved from early stages to respect their elders; parents or
overall
anyone but themselves. Despite the discouraging panorama presented earlier, some
people
still advocate for their
children
to have more freedom; in terms of not following certain types
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
rules
, or just
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
able to express their opinion without any concern
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
what
people
might think.
This
could have its own advantages, as
children
may form and hone their own
opinions
from an early age,
as well as
pivoting what they think or
opinate
Correct your spelling
operate
opine
about certain subjects.
For example
, in
eastern
Capitalize word
Eastern
show examples
cultures
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
quite common for
children
or juveniles to be quite
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
to
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
strong
opinions
about controversial themes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they take into consideration a range of factors
such
as their parent's or
teacher's
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers'
show examples
opinions
. From a political perspective,
this
could be known as an effect
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
a strong hierarchal system, which coaxes
people
into being more passive than
aggresive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
,
as well as
more
condescent
Correct your spelling
condescend
con-descent
candescent
towards power figures. Taking into consideration both perspectives, I would certainly lean towards the first opinion. As it may sound controversial for the
openly
Change the adverb
open
show examples
mindset that many
people
have nowadays. To follow and obey
rules
are just basic elements of the contract of
society
, which prevents populations
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
going off their ways and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
in anarchy. In conclusion,
while
it is important to give
children
a certain kind of freedom
for expressing
Change preposition
to express
show examples
their
opinions
or thoughts around themes,
this
could not eclipse the wide urgency for them to learn, from a very young age, the aspects or the foundations of the civilized societies, which
primarly
Correct your spelling
primarily
consist in following
rules
or respecting their elders.
Moreover
, by
keeping
Verb problem
taking
show examples
these things into consideration, we can learn to reciprocate and
propell
Correct your spelling
propel
proper
good values that would transform and aid
society
as a whole.
Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your introduction clearly states both views on the topic before stating your own opinion. This sets a solid foundation for your essay and prepares the reader for the discussion.
task response
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While the example from the VOX study is good, adding more real-life examples or statistics can make your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, you can improve cohesion by linking ideas more clearly. Use transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to show how your ideas connect and flow.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, succinctly summarize the main points of the essay before restating your opinion. This reinforces your argument and gives your essay a strong finish.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discipline
  • Autonomy
  • Independency
  • Creativity
  • Conformity
  • Rebelliousness
  • Maturation
  • Guidance
  • Cognitive development
  • Protector
  • Evaluator
  • Boundaries
  • Negotiation
  • Empowerment
  • Self-discipline
  • Regulatory guidelines
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptation
  • Socio-emotional skills
  • Decision-making process
  • Moral compass
  • Real-world challenges
  • Controlled environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: