Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are argumentative perspectives heating a debate over how to become high-achievers.
While
some claim that absorbing insights in
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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is the sole approach to
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
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high accomplishments , the opposite makes a statement that alternatives have an immense contribution to it.
While
each has its own perks I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, Accessing tertiary education is taken into keen consideration for people to gain great success in their lives. Because people can absorb major insights which probably apply
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their occupation in Universities. Statistics can be cited as one of high
applicability
Replace the word
applicable
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subjects in academies to both analyze and process data in
the
Correct article usage
a
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particular time and space.
While
the redeeming features of being accessible to Universities are widely acknowledged , it is unfair if those of alternative facets are ignored. As there are a myriad of potential elements which not be taught in colleges may have a great contribution to people’s success.
For instance
, Discipline is one of the outstanding ones assisting people to gain high achievements. If you frequently procrastinate in every work, you will not finish assignments on time.
Conversely
, if you possess high responsibility in your job, you will successfully complete your work. In conclusion,
Although
going to
Universities
Fix the agreement mistake
University
show examples
has a positive effect on someone’s success, alternatives
also
affect
such
as discipline.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
It's essential to ensure a clear structure in your essay by including an introductory paragraph that clearly states your position, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each point with supporting examples, and a conclusion that summarizes your stance. Your essay follows this outline; however, the transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the readability.
task achievement
Try to delve deeper into your examples by providing more specific details. This helps to substantiate your arguments and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic. Additionally, ensure that the examples are directly relevant to the points being made.
language
Be cautious of grammatical errors and strive for clarity and precision in your expression. While your essay presents coherent ideas, occasional slips in grammar and expression can distract from the message. Prioritize proofreading and practice to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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