IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In order to solve traffic problems government should tax private cars owners heavily and use the money to improve public transport. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

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The topic of whether the government should tax private
van
Fix the agreement mistake
vans
show examples
 in order to develop public
shipment
Fix the agreement mistake
shipments
show examples
 is often debated. The writer believes that heavy
taxes
Use synonyms
 will prevent folk from buying their own car
as well as
Linking Words
 improving
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 from taking that tax. Discouraging
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 not to buy their own limousine is one of the advantages of taxing private cars.
In other words
Linking Words
, after charging a huge amount of money for
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
, the
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
show examples
 vehicles would gradually decrease and traffic problems would improve.
As a result
Linking Words
,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 could easily commute faster and work more efficiently and effectively and air pollution would be reduced. Taking those
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 for improving
Correct article usage
the harbor
show examples
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 is another merit of taxing. To be specific, the bureaucrats can spend money, which comes from duty, to improve not only public shipment but
also
Linking Words
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, many
people
Use synonyms
 would change their mood from private convertible to public transportation.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent survey in Bangladesh says that most public tend to public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as buses, trains, etc. rather than personal motor.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are lots of disadvantages
due to
Linking Words
 the same. To explain
further
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live out of the city do not get available to public shipment facilities.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have to
also
Linking Words
 pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 for their personal car which is very expensive for those
people
Use synonyms
 In conclusion, stopping
people
Use synonyms
 from purchasing their own vehicles
along with
Linking Words
 developing roads from private vehicle
taxes
Use synonyms
 are the two merits, the demerit includes the difficulty for countryside
people
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the government should make a fixed amount of
taxes
Use synonyms
 on private car owners.

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Language Use
Avoid using non-standard or colloquial language for official terms (e.g., 'van' instead of 'vehicle', 'limousine' instead of 'car', 'harbor' instead of 'public transport infrastructure'). This can confuse readers and detract from the professionalism of your essay.
Task Response
Work on developing clearer and more specific examples to support your arguments. While the reference to Bangladesh is good, more detail or additional examples would strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and reader-friendly.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and provides a clear stance. Although you presented both sides, the conclusion should succinctly encapsulate your argument, making your position clear.
Task Response
Address the prompt more directly by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages equally. While you have covered both sides, ensure that each is developed fully and in balanced detail.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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