Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

Some would argue that

children

should appreciate

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their competitive skills,

while

others

deem that they should have to teach the benefits of teamwork

instead

of being competitive.

While

the feeling of competition always triggers them to be successful in their task, I believe that cooperation teaches them how to assist

others

. Highlighting the first aspect, competitive skill helps the adults to pre-set their goal. In order to get success in every field whether it would be study or sports they can indulge themselves to become a successful person by giving cut-throat competition to their opponents. Competitive examinations

such

as civil services

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more likely in India,

for instance

, is

having

Verb problem

are

show examples

tough to crack owing to the high competition among youth.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

assure

that

Correct pronoun usage

you that

show examples

competitive

Correct article usage

the competitive

show examples

nature is leading

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters to choose an unethical path to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success because they feel demotivated when they are unable to achieve their goals. Shifting to another aspect,''Coperation''is perhaps the most prominent tool in

competitive

Add an article

the competitive

show examples

epoch.

Children

will not only learn the

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

stratgies

Correct your spelling

strategies

but

also

they can

enhnace

Correct your spelling

enhance

their intellectual skills

while

lending a helping hand to

others

.To be more specific,they

emphaise

Correct your spelling

emphasise

emphasis

on work with

others

instead

struglling

Correct your spelling

struggling

alone.

Change the article

The

show examples

best illustration can be seen in school projects , the primary motive is to teach the

children

how they can move forward with the assistance of their peers.

Therefore

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show examples

agree that

children

can develop their interpersonal skills and help

others

in their difficult

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

. To

recaptiulate

Correct your spelling

recapitulate

although

through competitive nature

children

can make their success goals,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

coperation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

helps them to get their aim

while

providing

assisatnce

Correct your spelling

assistance

others

Submitted by jaspreetkaurdasuya on Wed Mar 06 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more detailed examples. Use specific instances or studies to illustrate your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea, supported by detailed sentences.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use linking words effectively to show the relationships between ideas and to help the reader follow your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors to enhance readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Working abroad can help employees earn a great deal of money and gain more benefits. However, some people think this trend has many negative impacts.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as course work and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase in globalization will have positive effects on everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that men are naturally naturally more competitive than women, while others believe that there is no difference in the competitiveness of men and women. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.