some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while others argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
some people emphasize that the best way to travel around a city is to drive a car
due to
their convenience and promptness, others believe that
bicycles
are
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
means of transportation to take adventure.
Although
these two statements seem to be reasonable, I would argue the latter group of people as riding a bicycle is more beneficial for physical and mental health. On the one hand,
cars
are so profitable to go somewhere as a group. They create the best opportunity to enjoy views of nature
as well as
save management. To explain, many individuals prefer
cars
as they provide
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
relevant atmosphere to spend quality time with loved ones,
for example
, they can create lasting memories in a car
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
taking photos or
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
experiences,
tell
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
jokes and so on.
As a result
, they can strengthen their family ties and relish moments with family members.
For instance
, many individuals in my country utilize
cars
to go
family
Change preposition
to family
show examples
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
or outings
as well as
picnics.
On the other hand
,
bicycles
are helpful to stay healthy every time. They have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
potential to improve our infrastructure of body. For explanation, riding a bicycle reduces health risks and increases the
activeness
Replace the word
activity
show examples
of leg muscles. They can shift someone’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
good side
while
travelling
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
city.
Additionally
, they relieve to decrease the traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
and
this
can reduce environmental risks.
Consequently
,
this
can be easier to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems like air pollution because of
bicycles
. As a case in point, many developed countries
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
to expand the number of
bicycles
to travel
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
city.
Therefore
, all of us must shift our daily routine and ride more adventurous
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. In conclusion, even though many individuals trust that
cars
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
best means of transport
due to
their comfort, others approve
bicycles
Change preposition
of bicycles
show examples
because they are more useful for health and solve the issues related to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly presents your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. Providing specific details or data can strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate linguistic range. Too much repetition can make the text monotonous.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to your opinion to add depth to your essay and demonstrate critical thinking skills.
general
Proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors, which can detract from the overall effectiveness of your communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: