In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discu

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #discu

There is an ongoing debate regarding high salaries earned by a small number of individuals in some

couu

Correct your spelling

court

. A group of individuals have argued that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

will help a

nation

to grow more so , it is

in benefit

Correct word choice

beneficial

show examples

for a country.

However

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

are

counter claimed

Correct your spelling

counterclaimed

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the authorities should manage

wages

and

also

place a limit on the sum of money

people

can be paid. Both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viewpoint

Fix the agreement mistake

viewpoints

show examples

are discussed

further

in the upcoming paragraphs with my opinion in conclusion. Discussing the former view , the

supports

Replace the word

supporters

show examples

foremost believe that , if more salaries

Change the verb form

are

show examples

paid to a small number of

people

they would become

indebated

Correct your spelling

indebted

to the government. For elaboration , they would definitely help the

nation

in developing with new technology and it will ultimately help to evolve the

nation

Moreover

, the youth of

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

generation can be inspired by the

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and determination of some individuals who earn

exteremely

Correct your spelling

extremely

high

wages

because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

done a lot of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

so they definitely now

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a chance to earn more than others . Ultimately youths will

also

start to do

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

become someone who can take their

nation

to new heights and make their

nation

proud . But , some folks have their own perspective .

Firstly

, they believe that all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

should earn limited

wages

so equality can be maintained. Because, in a

nation

Add a comma

nation,

show examples

all

people

are equal and cannot be compared

according to

caste , religion and many more. So , the behold the equality every individual should get limited

wages

Lastly

, some public can get jealous of others who earn high

wages

Due to

this

feeling , crimes like robbery and fighting can even

took

Change the verb form

take

show examples

place . To ensure

this

crimes never happen the authorities should look into

this

matter wisely .

To sum up

and offer my position , I choose

Correct article usage

the later

show examples

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

view , because dangerous crimes may happen in the near future and the

nation

people

can

lost

Change the verb form

lose

be lost

show examples

their faith in equality . So , I highly side with the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

view in which the government should limit the salaries and

paid

Wrong verb form

pay

show examples

limited

Add an article

the limited

a limited

show examples

sum of money to all

people

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Wed Mar 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use transitions wisely to link ideas.

task achievement

Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Support your ideas with specific examples or evidence to make your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Some argue that punishments are crucial for helping children distinguish between right and wrong. I somewhat disagree with this as there are better teaching methods for youngsters. However, there are two light-type punishments that might be effective in certain situations, and educators and parents should be allowed to use them.
6
band
More and More People No Longer Read Newspapers or Watch TV Programmes to Get Their News. They Get Their News From the Internet. Is This a Positive or Negative Development?
Getting news from the internet has become more popular rather than obtaining news from TV or physical newspapers. This essay believes that this is positive progress because information can be transferred faster and people feel more convenient.
6
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
While it is undeniable that rural inhabitants play a crucial role in bolstering the agricultural economy, the allure of urban living has led to a steady exodus from rural areas, which, in my view, has significant negative implications.
7.5
band
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a mall community?
Nowadays, it is becoming common for people who live in large cities to have less communication with their neighbours. In contrast, people who live in rural areas have better relationships with the people surrounding them. In this essay, I will examine the pros and cons of living in a small community.
5.5
band
More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
Nowadays, the cost of living has increased to such an extent that working has become a necessity for both the parents in a family. However, at times this results in parents being unable to take out time for their children. This essay discusses whether this is a better solution or not followed by an opinion.

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discu

Fully explain your ideas

More and More People No Longer Read Newspapers or Watch TV Programmes to Get Their News. They Get Their News From the Internet. Is This a Positive or Negative Development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a mall community?

More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.