IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#children #study #language #school #grades
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Being exposed to things when you are still young offers a bigger scope for understanding. Learning especially new
language
 has a major benefit for individuals. In my opinion, the immediate knowledge of children about foreign
languages
 depends on the purpose.
For example
, learning
English
 since it has been considered an international
language
 for the purpose of studying abroad.
Therefore
, I disagree with the terms of learning just any
language
 at an early age.
Firstly
, growing up with the knowledge of
English
 and the ability to construct a word for conversations allow you a wider range of socializing with people these days, given how
English
 is considered
as
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apply
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a widely known speech.
For instance
, education abroad may require you to understand certain
languages
 to blend in,
therefore
, having the fundamentals of
English
 is very important regarding international interactions.
This
 on
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand may lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
better
understandings
Correct the article-noun agreement
understanding
show examples
 towards conversation with foreign people.
On the other hand
, picking random foreign
languages
 as a subject for children to learn may not be the best idea, given the fact that not everybody pursues the same destination to a certain country. Turning other
languages
 into a mandatory subject may be considered non-essential because not everyone is interested in delving into it.
For instance
, learning French is a compulsory subject in international schools.
As a result
, not every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 able to graduate with an ideal score in French. In conclusion, being taught a foreign
language
 in school during an early grade has both pros and cons,
therefore
, the upper hand must analyze deeper regarding
this
 case deeply in order for children to be able to get a head start on their endeavours.
Submitted by syaaakhansa on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay has a clear position throughout the response. While you presented a nuanced view, it could be strengthened by maintaining a clear stance on the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by explicitly linking them to the essay topic. Share more specific examples to further illustrate your points, making them more persuasive and relevant to the statement you're responding to.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments and making your position clearer.
coherence cohesion
Consider the use of a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, however, therefore) to better link your ideas and paragraphs together. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
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