You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, in the
world
of modern information technologies,
people
prefer online
communication
and staying up-to-date by using social
media
services
instead
of traditional forms of
communication
. In my opinion,
this
trend has more positives than drawbacks. One obvious positive effect of using social
media
for
communication
is its accessibility across geographical barriers and
time
zones. Within a short period of
time
, the availability of online
media
services revolutionized various aspects of
people
’s lives, making
communication
much easier and more accessible.
People
from all over the
world
can keep in touch with their friends, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances even without going out anywhere. All they need is to make a video call, turn on the camera, and they can talk with each other in
real-
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
time
.
Such
technologies proved to be vitally important when they helped many
people
around the
world
during the COVID-19 quarantine and crisis period. At that
time
,
people
were restricted from leaving their houses to meet each other.
Moreover
, social
media
platforms
facilitate the circulation of online
news
, providing instant updates from around the
world
.
This
way, they help
people
stay up-to-date and enable them to share
news
and their personal views with others.
Last
but not least, social networks are
also
decent
platforms
for business
communication
, with the help of which professionals have the opportunity to promote their personal brands or start-up projects to a wider audience.
As a result
, it increases brand awareness and develops engagement with their customers.
However
, despite the immediacy and convenience,
communication
via social
platforms
has some negative aspects as well. The main disadvantage is the decrease in face-to-face
communication
and the lack of interactions.
Due to
the excessive
time
spent on social
media
,
people
are most likely to get used to texting each other and start preferring online
communication
over in-person meetings.
As a result
,
this
trend may cause problems with
communication
skills and even lead to isolation or depression.
In addition
to
this
,
people
need to always be very careful
while
perceiving any
news
shared on social
platforms
, as not all the information can be reliable and trustworthy.
Consequently
, overreliance on social networks may lead to misinformation and misguidance among the users, which in turn may negatively affect them on a personal, academic, and professional level.
Overall
, the benefits of social
media
usage for
communication
and
news
awareness outweigh the drawbacks because it is widely accessible and convenient in terms of saving
time
and improving
communication
and brand awareness in the business sphere.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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task achievement
Try to present your main points more evenly. While the essay has a strong argument, providing more specific examples and details in support of your points could enhance your argument's credibility and depth.
coherence and cohesion
Work on introducing a wider range of connectives and transition phrases to smooth the flow between your ideas. This will improve the reader's overall understanding and the coherence of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by not only summarizing your points but also by reinforcing your stance on the issue. This can make your argument more compelling and solidify your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Access to information
  • Real-time news
  • Social interaction
  • Dependence
  • Addiction
  • Privacy concerns
  • Misinformation
  • Face-to-face communication
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