Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Whether the
school
or
parents
play an imperative role in forming
children
's awareness related to quality
diet
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
emerged as a controversial topic of interest . The writer of
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
claims that
due to
the period of time
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
spending
Replace the word
spend
show examples
with their family , it would be much easier for them to
gain
an understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
a healthy
diet
. One of the core reasons which apply for why
parents
should be the
pioneer
Fix the agreement mistake
pioneers
show examples
in teaching
chilren
Correct your spelling
children
about healthy
diet
is
due to
their influence .
That is
to say , since the
child
is born until being an
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, they spend their whole childhood
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living with their
parents
which is a reasonable
explaination
Correct your spelling
explanation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the fact that
children
tend to copy their
parents
's behaviour and mindset .
Therefore
, when it comes to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
,
parents
who have an
understading
Correct your spelling
understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
must be necessary to form the
child
's
knowledge
about
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
. Taking Singapore as an example ,
this
nation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been making
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
to
run
Wrong verb form
running
show examples
a
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
in order to
pursuade
Correct your spelling
persuade
parents
to
gain
knowledge
about healthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
which can be used to teach their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
in later future. When it comes to a healthy
diet
, it must be recognised that
school
, as a symbol of education , should take
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to teach
children
about
this
.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
school
Change the article
a school
show examples
is a place where
children
gain
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
knowledge
about the world .
Thus
, if teachers make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
to form fundamental
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
aboult
Correct your spelling
about
healthy
diet
, the students can
gain
benefit from
this
as they know how to maintain a healthy lifestyle based on their
diet
.
For example
, the schedule of a student who
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
in America contains
a cooking classes
Correct the article-noun agreement
cooking classes
a cooking class
show examples
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
used to teach
chilren
Correct your spelling
children
the way to make
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
, leading to the highest proportion of residents having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
related to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
. It is the writer's opinion
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
parents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
communications
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
children
, forming the
child
's understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
must be their job . It must be recognised that
children
will have different
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
healthy food , which is a
difficulties
Change the noun form
difficulty
show examples
for
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
as they need to make a general
diet
for many students .
However
,
parents
can solve
this
burden as they can make heart-to-heart talk with their
children
so as to find out their taste of healthy food .
Thus
, not only leading them to a healthy lifestyle but
parents
also
can teach the
children
more about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
healthy
diet
In conclusion , the role of
parents
and
school
, both are essential to
children
's
knowledge
about healthy
diet
,
however
,
due to
the
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
quanity
Correct your spelling
quantity
of
Correct your spelling
communications
communication
commucations
Correct your spelling
communication
and time
children
spend with their family , it is reasonable that
parents
will take over the
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to form right awareness about
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
for their
kins
Correct your spelling
kids
show examples
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Spelling and Grammar
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity of your arguments. For example, 'essay' is misspelled as 'eassy', and 'children' is misspelled as 'chilren'. Additionally, pay attention to proper punctuation and capitalization.
Structure
Enhance the structure of your essay by clearly delineating introduction, body, and conclusion sections. Your introduction and conclusion could be made more distinct for a cleaner organizational scheme, which would also improve reader understanding.
Elaboration
While your essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, try to further elaborate on your ideas for a more in-depth discussion. For instance, expand on how parents' influence is significant compared to that of schools by including more examples or studies.
Coherence
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
Task Response
To boost your task response score, ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Integrate your stance more explicitly in the introduction and consistently support it throughout your body paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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