Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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Some people believe that

children

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should be taught by their

parents

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about how to function as useful members of

society

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while

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others believe that sending

children

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to educational institutions is the best way for them to study

this

Linking Words

Although

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the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating

children

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to be good parts of the community.

Schools

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can be considered suitable places for

children

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to learn to be good citizens. With standardized educational methods,

schools

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can foster

children

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’s cognitive development so that they are able to contribute to

society

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in the future.

For example

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, Trung Vuong

school

Capitalize word

School

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and Vinschool are well known for having nurtured successful alumni

such

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as Professor Ngo Bao,

Professor

Correct word choice

and Professor

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Nguyen Hung who have devoted their talents to the development of the country.

However

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, these people only represent a small fraction of the total number of students attending

schools

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, and

thus

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sending

children

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schools

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cannot be the best method of educating them to be good members of

society

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. I believe that

parents

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play a more important role in teaching them how to be good citizens. In Vietnam, the average class size is 20 students, which makes it difficult for educators to provide proper schooling for each student.

One to one

Add a hyphen

One-to-one

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lessons at home,

on the other hand

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, allow

children

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to progress faster.

Furthermore

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parents

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form stronger bonds with their offspring and

thus

Linking Words

, it is easier for them to shape

children

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’s personalities at an early age.

For example

Linking Words

, by telling stories

such

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as Robin Hood,

Cinderella

Correct word choice

and Cinderella

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before bedtime,

parents

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can instil a sense of compassion and integrity into them. These

children

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are likely to become good members of

society

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when they grow up. In conclusion,

although

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sending

children

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schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

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can be seen as a way of teaching them how to be good citizens, I believe that domestic upbringing has a bigger impact on determining who they are in the future.

Submitted by Kirandeepkaur on Wed Mar 06 2024

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Task Achievement

You've done an excellent job discussing both viewpoints comprehensively before presenting your own opinion, which is crucial for task achievement. To further enhance your essay, consider expanding on how these varied educational approaches might interact or complement each other for an even more nuanced viewpoint.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay displays a strong logical structure and smooth transitions between ideas, making it easy to follow. To improve coherence, you might consider introducing varying sentence structures or connectors to add depth to your argumentation.

Task Achievement

Effective use of examples, such as Professor Ngo Bao and Professor Nguyen Hung, to support your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Smooth transition between paragraphs enhances readability and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines, and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?

In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the governments. There are some proponents who advocate that this largely artistic investment could ideally be spent on many other vital fileds

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.