In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it?

Nowadays,
crime
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the crime
show examples
rate is increasing
day
by
day
. In most of the countries,
people
are not having an afraid of doing something wrong. In
this
essay, we will discuss some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
crime
rate or what will be the solution for it.
Firstly
, one of the main
reason
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reasons
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is
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
population which leads to various problems
such
as unemployment.
People
are not getting jobs as
per
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
required
according to
their
study
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studies
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. They study as lot even they achieve degrees in their life but they did not get any
job
in future without any reference.
This
develops
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative effect on the mind
fo
Correct your spelling
of
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current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
generation and they think they are sure that they are not going to get any
job
in future as per their achievements, they need only a special personality for reference in getting
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
.
This
creates violence in the minds of
current
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the current
show examples
generation.
Secondly
,
people
wants to earn more income by doing less efforts. For
this
, they adopt
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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ways to become
richest
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the richest
show examples
or
successful
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most successful
show examples
in a few days.
Also
, patience level is decreasing
day
by
day
among them. There is
also
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in machine work,
due to
the advancement in technology, manual work
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
decreased which leads to unemployment in the economy. In
this
modern era,
people
are more fashionable and
also
expenses are increased which are hard to be met by common individuals and leads to increase
crime
rate in country. To solve
this
problem, government has to make efforts to create awareness in general public that how they can manage their expenses or generate income by participating in different activities like games, quizzes and other things which will be beneficial in their life. Government
also
has to generate new employment opportunities for current generation so, that they can get their
job
according to
their achievements and they did not get involved in any
crime
activities. They will be able to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their basic needs. They can remain busy
in
Change preposition
with
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their work and
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not get much time to think about negative things.
Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarises your main points and suggests a solution or reflection.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world examples or statistics can make your argument much stronger.
task achievement
Make sure your essay addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion on the causes of the problem and potential solutions.
task achievement
Try to avoid generalisations. Make your argument more convincing by being specific about which countries you are referring to or what kind of crimes are increasing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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