We are becoming more and more dependent on machines to function in the modern world. Some people think it is a very negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
undoubtedly, in today's
era
the function of machine
is increasing rapidly Add an article
the machine
due
to Change preposition
apply
that
masses are becoming dependent on that for Correct determiner usage
the
the
daily things. Correct article usage
apply
Number
of Change the article
A number
The number
people
recognise as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
negative
development. Add an article
a negative
i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement but having
some other Wrong verb form
have
opnion
too which will be Correct your spelling
opinions
discussing
in future paragraphs.
the Wrong verb form
discussed
iniate
with, As today Correct your spelling
initiate
era
is modern era
and the involvement of machines
in daily uasge
is increasing expendentadly. In the big Correct your spelling
usage
use
industries
most of the Add a comma
industries,
work
is done through the machnies
and Correct your spelling
machines
due to
that people
are losing their jobs. due to
that the unemployment rates are increasing along with
that people
are spending a huge amount and time in searching
Verb problem
looking
of
jobs which Change preposition
for
is
Verb problem
has
negative
effect on their pockets.
Before the Add an article
a negative
the negative
era
of machines
there was Add a comma
machines,
alot
of physical Correct your spelling
a lot
works
for both Fix the agreement mistake
work
the
genders but with the new innovations and Correct article usage
apply
advance
technology Replace the word
advanced
alot
of physical Correct your spelling
a lot
work
has reduced
Add a missing verb
been reduced
due to
that their
is Replace the word
there
Correct article usage
a rapidly
rapidly
increase in the number of obse Change the word
rapid
people
. For
example
in the Add a comma
example,
factories
there was heavy lifting and now only one crane can do all the Add a comma
factories,
work
and the person whoes
is operating Correct your spelling
who's
who
this
has to just on the chair and push some buttons. so people
are becoming lazy.
one the other hand, there are some machines
that help a lot to save us time like calculaters
which help Correct your spelling
calculators
calculator
human
to Fix the agreement mistake
humans
calcute
Correct your spelling
calculate
alot
of large numbers in seconds.Correct your spelling
a lot
computes
are other Capitalize word
Computes
innvations
which help Correct your spelling
innovations
masses
to look for jobs and other Correct article usage
the masses
opprounties
in the whole world by sitting in their home.
Correct your spelling
opportunities
To conclude
, depending on machines
upto
some extent is okay but Correct your spelling
up to
reling
on Correct your spelling
relying
machines
to do daily task
is unacceptable. not only they can replace Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
the
human Correct article usage
apply
work
but also
they will craete
more Correct your spelling
create
umemployment
in the world which is not good for humans.Correct your spelling
unemployment
Submitted by Bharatsinglamohan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on developing clearer and more comprehensive ideas to fully address the essay topic. Ensure each paragraph touches on a distinct aspect related to the prompt.
task achievement
Include a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your points. Utilize real-world instances or hypothetical situations that directly correlate with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay with a clearer logical structure. Introduce your main points in the beginning and make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Always include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, logically developed arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.