Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

#people #government #money #arts

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The high authorities spend huge amounts of capital on the arts rather than spending

money

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on rising

issues

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such

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as poverty, global crises and increasing crime rates. In my opinion,

government

Add an article

the government

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should give more importance to the current

issues

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and invest capital in developing the nation.

Firstly

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, the unemployment graph line is almost doubled in the

last

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3 years and

this

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issue has caused a high rate of poverty all over the world. It is so hard for them to arrange

money

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for their health

issues

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, educational fees and basic needs. Having no job promotes crime to fulfil their basic need for daily life.

For instance

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, a survey was conducted in 2015 and 2020, researchers found a 60% increment in the crime rate among jobless people.

Secondly

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, the high rate of traffic congestion

Remove the comma

apply

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causes various gas emissions into the atmosphere which affects people's health

such

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as asthma and TB. The government should spend

money

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this

Linking Words

issue and develop some strategies on how to control air pollution and noise pollution.

Moreover

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, some

issues

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can be solved by putting some supervision strategies and designing automobiles which are electric based and no need fuels and

this

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helps to save our natural resources. In conclusion, spending

money

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on current affairs can help in developing the country and the government should arrange some seminars

programs

Correct word choice

and programs

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for everyone and help them to understand their

issues

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personally.

This

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will not only help to solve the issue but

also

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promote to development of the country.

Submitted by shubhdeepkaur2 on Wed Mar 06 2024

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Introduction Structure

Ensure your introduction more clearly outlines the two sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. This enhances clarity and sets the stage for a more structured debate.

Balanced Argument

While your essay has a clear stance, remember to explore both sides of the argument adequately before concluding. This balanced approach demonstrates an understanding of the complexities inherent in the topic.

Logical Flow

To strengthen the logical flow of your essay, transition smoothly between paragraphs using phrases that connect ideas. This makes your argument more cohesive and easier to follow.

Evidence Variety

Incorporate a wider range of example types. Beyond surveys and hypothetical scenarios, real-world statistics, reports from reputable sources, or historical instances add credibility and depth to your argument.

Grammar and Punctuation

Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance readability. Correct use of punctuation and sentence structure contributes significantly to the clarity of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Your opinion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.