some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . others belive they should be free to work in another coutnry if they wish . Discuess boh these views and give your opinion.

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It is argued whether
professionals
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should stay in the
countries
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that
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
them with training,
while
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others advocate for the freedom of pursuing different
career
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paths
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, even if it means leaving their
home
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country. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will aim to discuss both perspectives on
this
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matter,
as well as
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to pose why I think it would be better for graduates to pursue their goals outside their
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home-
Correct your spelling
home countries
show examples
countries
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.
To begin
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with,
professionals
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should be granted the opportunity to expand their professional horizons.
Therefore
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, the experience that they would gain in other
countries
Use synonyms
would allow them to fulfil their goals or enhance their careers;
this
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would be incomplete or not integral if they just
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
in their
home
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countries
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.
For example
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, doctors based
Change preposition
in
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
third-world
countries
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could
Unnecessary verb
apply
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be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from
Correct article usage
the knowledge
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knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
and medical achievements of
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
countries
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, the
work
Use synonyms
experience they would acquire
Change preposition
through
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
such
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opportunities
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
quite important.
According to
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a study conducted by The Times, 40% of the best
professionals
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in certain careers
such
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as medicine or engineering, have had experiences abroad in order
expand
Fix the infinitive
to expand
show examples
their field of expertise,
as well as
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to widen the opportunities to come back to their
home
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countries
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; and provide more ideas into developing better health systems or great policies
overall
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.
On the other hand
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, it is quite important to be able to retribute to the society that provided them training, in order for more
professionals
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to join the workforce; improving
bussiness
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business
, hospitals or
overall
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the economy of said nations.
For example
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, it has been a common phenomenon for lawyers or doctors -essential careers for any nation- to be keen to inmigrate, since they do not find opportunities in their
home
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countries
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, or prefer to
work
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in foreign environments.
This
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caused a negative impact in all of the industries since most of them did not return; leaving the country with a lack of
professionals
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and an unbalanced workforce. A study made by VOX, surveyed
inmigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
were trained and educated in their
home
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countries
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, but still left to pursue better
career
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paths
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, that only
countries
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such
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as
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
or Canada would give them.
According to
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their data, at least 9 of 10
inmigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
show examples
left their
homecountries
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home countries
for
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this
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reason.
Moreover
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
graduates should be able to pursue wider
career
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paths
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, even if
this
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means to
inmigrate
Correct your spelling
immigrate
migrate
to other
countries
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different than their own. It is possible that certain situations that
countries
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face could
disuade
Correct your spelling
dissuade
professionals
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from joining the workforce of their
home
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countries
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. I think
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for both workers and
countries
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that receive them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since the
exanchange
Correct your spelling
exchange
of perspectives could enhance and improve their
work
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or academic field.
To conclude
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,
while
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its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
of paramount importance to give back to the society that formed and honed
professionals
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, it is
also
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beneficial if they decide to pursue other
career
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paths
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in different
countries
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. Whether
this
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could impact
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
show examples
economy or detriment
professional's
Correct article usage
a professional's
show examples
dreams, I think is necessary to grant graduates the chance to prove themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and develop
work
Use synonyms
experience in other
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and outlines your stance effectively. Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the discussion, but be cautious of providing too many specifics or examples here; save those for the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize clear, distinct paragraphs to organize your essay, each focusing on a single point or argument. Your essay demonstrates good logical organization, with clear separation of ideas into paragraphs. Enhance cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph directly addresses the prompt, supporting your arguments with relevant examples or evidence. Your essay covers the required aspects of the task, but incorporating a wider variety of examples and more in-depth analysis will make your response more comprehensive.
Discussion
For a more coherent discussion, consider detailing contrasting viewpoints in separate paragraphs and clearly state your personal opinion in the conclusion. Balancing the discussion of both views before giving your opinion helps to maintain an objective tone throughout.
Language Use
Expand your range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words or phrases. Employ synonyms and different grammatical structures to express similar ideas, which will enrich your language and make your writing more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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