some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . others belive they should be free to work in another coutnry if they wish . Discuess boh these views and give your opinion.
It is argued whether
professionals
should stay in the countries
that provided
them with training, Wrong verb form
provide
while
others advocate for the freedom of pursuing different career
paths
, even if it means leaving their home
country. In this
essay
I will aim to discuss both perspectives on Add a comma
essay,
this
matter, as well as
to pose why I think it would be better for graduates to pursue their goals outside their home-
Correct your spelling
home countries
countries
.
To begin
with, professionals
should be granted the opportunity to expand their professional horizons. Therefore
, the experience that they would gain in other countries
would allow them to fulfil their goals or enhance their careers; this
would be incomplete or not integral if they just stay
in their Wrong verb form
stayed
home
countries
. For example
, doctors based Change preposition
in
on
third-world Change preposition
in
countries
could Unnecessary verb
apply
be
benefit from Verb problem
apply
Correct article usage
the knowledge
knowledge
and medical achievements of Correct article usage
the knowledge
Add a hyphen
first-world
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
countries
, the work
experience they would acquire Change preposition
through
by
Change preposition
through
such
opportunities Correct your spelling
is
its
quite important. Correct your spelling
is
According to
a study conducted by The Times, 40% of the best professionals
in certain careers such
as medicine or engineering, have had experiences abroad in order expand
their field of expertise, Fix the infinitive
to expand
as well as
to widen the opportunities to come back to their home
countries
; and provide more ideas into developing better health systems or great policies overall
.
On the other hand
, it is quite important to be able to retribute to the society that provided them training, in order for more professionals
to join the workforce; improving bussiness
, hospitals or Correct your spelling
business
overall
the economy of said nations. For example
, it has been a common phenomenon for lawyers or doctors -essential careers for any nation- to be keen to inmigrate, since they do not find opportunities in their home
countries
, or prefer to work
in foreign environments. This
caused a negative impact in all of the industries since most of them did not return; leaving the country with a lack of professionals
and an unbalanced workforce. A study made by VOX, surveyed inmigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
that
were trained and educated in their Correct pronoun usage
who
home
countries
, but still left to pursue better career
paths
, that only countries
such
as USA
or Canada would give them. Correct article usage
the USA
According to
their data, at least 9 of 10 inmigrants
left their Correct your spelling
immigrants
homecountries
Correct your spelling
home countries
for
this
reason.
Moreover
, in my opinion
graduates should be able to pursue wider Add a comma
opinion,
career
paths
, even if this
means to inmigrate
to other Correct your spelling
immigrate
migrate
countries
different than their own. It is possible that certain situations that countries
face could disuade
Correct your spelling
dissuade
professionals
from joining the workforce of their home
countries
. I think its
Correct your spelling
it's
benefitial
for both workers and Correct your spelling
beneficial
countries
that receive them,
since the Remove the comma
apply
exanchange
of perspectives could enhance and improve their Correct your spelling
exchange
work
or academic field.
To conclude
, while
its
of paramount importance to give back to the society that formed and honed Replace the word
it's
it is
professionals
, it is also
beneficial if they decide to pursue other career
paths
in different countries
. Whether this
could impact nation's
economy or detriment Correct article usage
a nation's
professional's
dreams, I think is necessary to grant graduates the chance to prove themselvesCorrect article usage
a professional's
,
and develop Remove the comma
apply
work
experience in other countries
.Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and outlines your stance effectively. Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the discussion, but be cautious of providing too many specifics or examples here; save those for the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Utilize clear, distinct paragraphs to organize your essay, each focusing on a single point or argument. Your essay demonstrates good logical organization, with clear separation of ideas into paragraphs. Enhance cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure every paragraph directly addresses the prompt, supporting your arguments with relevant examples or evidence. Your essay covers the required aspects of the task, but incorporating a wider variety of examples and more in-depth analysis will make your response more comprehensive.
Discussion
For a more coherent discussion, consider detailing contrasting viewpoints in separate paragraphs and clearly state your personal opinion in the conclusion. Balancing the discussion of both views before giving your opinion helps to maintain an objective tone throughout.
Language Use
Expand your range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words or phrases. Employ synonyms and different grammatical structures to express similar ideas, which will enrich your language and make your writing more engaging.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example