Write about the following topic: More and more people today want to own famous brands of clothes, cars and other llems. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary
society
, more and more people
are willing to spend money on popular brands
of clothes, cars, perfumes, and jewellery items that can cost an arm and a leg. In my opinion, this
recent trend
has detrimental consequences for adolescents which I will explain in this
essay.There are more demerits than merits associated with this
latest change in the behaviour of the current generation. In this
essay, I will expound on the negative influence of this
transformation with supporting evidence.
To begin
with, one of the major reasons behind this
brand consciousness in people
is a recent change in thinking of modern society
. Earlier, people
used to give more importance to the ethical and moral values of a person than the living standards of an individual. Nowadays, everyone wants to achieve a high standard of living just to gain recognition in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. Regrettably, many believe that it is imperative for them to use expensive brands
to gain high status. For instance
, Nowadays, a vast majority of people
have set high standards of living because these brands
are a source of joy for them. Because many people
feel accepted in modern society
and feel elated after spending their money on expensive brands
, they also
encourage their friends and family to spend money on such
items.
Nevertheless
, the negative influence of this
recent trend
can not be ignored. Firstly
, modern society
is rife with corruption, and petty thefts after
this
trend
. As middle-class people
cannot afford expensive brands
and luxury cars,they resort to crimes and corruption. Secondly
, youngsters can suffer from depression and anxiety when they feel that they can not enjoy such
luxuries. In addition
, this
trend
has not only created a dysfunctional society
but has also
caused social dilemmas in recent years. Moreover
, teenagers are getting badly affected by this
scenario,as now the younger generation will only consider materialistic things valuable and will not attach any value to ethical values.
In conclusion, I decry this
recent development, as it will create issues like petty thefts, connivance,corruption and greed. Therefore
, the cumulative impact of this
change is adverse. The government should make strict policies to control the alarming consequences of this
issue.Submitted by sb101tahirgul on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are always present, briefly summarizing your main points and stance. This has been done to an extent, but making your thesis statement more prominent can enhance clarity.
Supporting Evidence
Work on diversifying your examples. While you provide relevant scenarios, incorporating a wider range of examples, including statistical data or real-world case studies, could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Reflect on both the reasons and the implications of the trend, but also more clearly state whether you view the development as positive or negative, alongside a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the cohesion between paragraphs by using a wider variety of linking phrases. While your essay has a logical flow, enhancing transitions can provide a smoother reading experience.
Balanced Argument
Incorporate a paragraph that discusses the opposing viewpoint to create a balanced argument. This can add depth to your essay and show your ability to engage with different perspectives.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example