It is inevitable that as technology develops traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible – you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
this
fast-paced era, the advancement of technology is growing rapidly. Therefore
, there is an argument that says technological advancement will obviously diminish traditional cultures. This
essay is totally disagrees
with that statement because we can use technologies to preserve Change the verb form
totally disagrees
heritages
.
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
Firstly
, thanks to the rapid advancement of the internet, right now you can easily find digitalized manuscript
that contain Fix the agreement mistake
manuscripts
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
informations
about our ancestors in the form of Correct your spelling
information
e-book
on several Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
website
; and makes it Change to a plural noun
websites
immutable
on the internet. Correct pronoun usage
them immutable
On the other hand
, if we do not store those manuscripts digitally, there is a high possibility that they will be lost or stolen. Therefore
, it is necessary to documented
them and put Change the verb
document
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
on
Change preposition
in
the
cloud storage. Take Greece Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, since 2014 the government there has started to digitalized
Wrong verb form
digitalise
the
ancient Correct article usage
apply
greek
scrolls because in 2008 several pieces of those scrolls were stolen.
Capitalize word
Greek
Secondly
, because nowadays younger generations tend to use gadgets to relax instead
of playing with their friend outside, we can utilize this
phenomenon to educate them about traditional cultures. For example
, many mobile game developers in Indonesia have transformed traditional games
into mobile games
that can be played on smartphone
and are available to download at Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Google
Correct article usage
the Google
play store
and Apple Correct your spelling
Play Store
store
; surprisingly those Capitalize word
Store
games
have been downloaded more than a million times. As a result
, many teenagers in Indonesia right now are highly familiar with the traditional games
that their parents played during their childhood.
In conclusion, it is obvious that technology could preserve our heritages
through several methods, Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
such
as storing ancient scrolls on cloud storage and makes
the digital version of traditional Wrong verb form
making
games
.Submitted by rahmanparentio on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay is directly addressing the prompt throughout the entire response. While your argument is clear, refining your thesis statement to more directly counter the prompt would strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and ensure clear paragraph transitions to enhance readability and flow. This includes the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your argument and how you plan to support it. This will provide a clear roadmap for your essay and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, carefully check your essay for any typing or grammatical errors. Even minor errors can disrupt the flow of your essay and confuse the reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?