It is inevitable that as technology develops traditional cultures must be lost. Technology and tradition are incompatible – you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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fast-paced era, the advancement of technology is growing rapidly.
Therefore
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, there is an argument that says technological advancement will obviously diminish traditional cultures.
This
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essay
is totally disagrees
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totally disagrees
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with that statement because we can use technologies to preserve
heritages
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heritage
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.
Firstly
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, thanks to the rapid advancement of the internet, right now you can easily find digitalized
manuscript
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manuscripts
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that contain
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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informations
Correct your spelling
information
about our ancestors in the form of
e-book
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e-books
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on several
website
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websites
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; and makes it
immutable
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them immutable
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on the internet.
On the other hand
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, if we do not store those manuscripts digitally, there is a high possibility that they will be lost or stolen.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to
documented
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document
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them and put
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cloud storage. Take Greece
for instance
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, since 2014 the government there has started to
digitalized
Wrong verb form
digitalise
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient
greek
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Greek
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scrolls because in 2008 several pieces of those scrolls were stolen.
Secondly
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, because nowadays younger generations tend to use gadgets to relax
instead
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of playing with their friend outside, we can utilize
this
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phenomenon to educate them about traditional cultures.
For example
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, many mobile game developers in Indonesia have transformed traditional
games
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into mobile
games
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that can be played on
smartphone
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smartphones
show examples
and are available to download at
Google
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the Google
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play store
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Play Store
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and Apple
store
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Store
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; surprisingly those
games
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have been downloaded more than a million times.
As a result
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, many teenagers in Indonesia right now are highly familiar with the traditional
games
Use synonyms
that their parents played during their childhood. In conclusion, it is obvious that technology could preserve our
heritages
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heritage
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through several methods,
such
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as storing ancient scrolls on cloud storage and
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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the digital version of traditional
games
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahmanparentio on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay is directly addressing the prompt throughout the entire response. While your argument is clear, refining your thesis statement to more directly counter the prompt would strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and ensure clear paragraph transitions to enhance readability and flow. This includes the use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your argument and how you plan to support it. This will provide a clear roadmap for your essay and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, carefully check your essay for any typing or grammatical errors. Even minor errors can disrupt the flow of your essay and confuse the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inevitable
  • traditional cultures
  • incompatible
  • technological advancements
  • cultural preservation
  • historical heritage
  • globalization
  • hybridization
  • digital divide
  • cross-cultural interaction
  • economic incentives
  • generational perspectives
  • disruption
  • cultural identity
  • evolution of tradition
  • cultural resilience
  • heritage conservation
  • information technology
  • multiculturalism
  • cultural assimilation
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