IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #poverty #countries #six #years #education #child #children #numbers
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There are
people
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 who confirm that the most appropriate way of solving the common problem of poverty in
countries
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 which are working on their economy is not claiming any fees from
people
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 for primary
education
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 level, around six years, in order to provide every
one
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 of future generation with basic knowledge and skills.
While
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 I agree that it is
advatageus
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advantageous
 for every
country
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 to have everyone educated at least on
average
Add an article
an average
the average
show examples
 level, I
firmaly
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firmly
 believe that
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in merely educated
people
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instead
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 of totally uneducated cannot contribute to
countries
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' economy as much as taxing or fair
education
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 fees
in
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apply
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order to reinvest in
country
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 development. On the
one
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 hand, it is fair and
legitmate
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legitimate
 for
people
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 to have a right
on
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to
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education
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 and claim for it,
still
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still,
show examples
 it may arise as a problem in developing
countries
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 where
education
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 is
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
 but salaries on average are not enough
for providing
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to provide
show examples
 it, in a considerable number of households.
Therefore
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, it leads to
people
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 giving up on even basic
education
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, in order to survive.
For example
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, in Turkmenistan,
being
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apply
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a developing
country
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, the cost of
education
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 in primary schools is around $150 a month, whilst
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 salary is $500, making it hard to provide more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
one
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 child with
education
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. On
other
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the other
show examples
 hand, taxing
people
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 and establishing fees on most of the existing facilities including
education
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain
country
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, is a common feature for
developped
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developed
countries
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.
Thus
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, making it possible to suppose that,
government
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the government
show examples
 charging money from
people
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 is a positive principle to stick to, for
further
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 and faster development in developing
countries
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 which is good for every citizen, by making it possible to provide citizens with all the matters for comfortable living,
consequently
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 eliminating the misery and poverty.
For instance
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, in
Switzerland
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Switzerland,
show examples
 the figures constituting
for
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apply
show examples
mandatory payments for
education
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,
accomodation
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accommodation
 or other kinds of
taxing
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taxes
show examples
 are
one
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 of the highest in the world,
whereas
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 the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 level is
also
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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most admirable.
To conclude
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, the idea of free
education
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 is
comrehancive
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comprehensive
 and
undoubtly
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undoubtedly
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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definite
Add an article
a definite
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 amount of
benefites
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benefits
 for the future
particular
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of particular
show examples
countries
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, but still in my personal view it is probably not as contributive to faster development of the
country
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,
therefore
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 not the best solution for the poverty.
Submitted by raxdiana4 on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure you address the prompt directly by discussing both sides of the argument, but also developing your own stance more clearly. It's vital to state your position unequivocally and support it with strong, detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay would benefit from a more logical progression of ideas. Try using topic sentences to start each paragraph and ensure all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea. Connecting phrases can also help guide the reader through your argument, making your position clearer.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with detailed examples and explanations. While you use examples like Turkmenistan and Switzerland, dive deeper into these instances or use more varied examples to strengthen your argument and make your writing more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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