The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
The two pie charts provide information about the proportion of online purchases for goods sectors in Canada between 2005 and 2010. In
generally
Change the word
general
show examples
, it can clearly be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer games and foodstuffs and beverages were upward trends
whereas
interior decorations and electronics and
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
were downward trends during a 5-year period. Looking at data in more detail, in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of eating and drinking
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
noticeably rose from 22 per
cent
to 32 per
cent
, which is the highest increment within 5 years.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, the number of PC games was
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
increased around 18 per
cent
in 2005 to 23 per
cent
in 2010.
Conversely
, the percentage of house furnishings
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined dramatically from 25 per
cent
to 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectively, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
became
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
last
place in 2010.
Furthermore
, the
porprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
of electronics and gadgets was
maginal
Correct your spelling
marginal
magical
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
from 35 per
cent
to 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by Nnansucha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail sectors
  • online shopping sales
  • significant growth/decline
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • sales percentages
  • emerged
  • evolution
  • notable
  • constancies
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!