IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates the way in which the
leather
goods
 are made for selling. At the onset,
it is clear that
 there are 11 stages in the process, beginning with the drying up of the animal
hides
 and culminating in
leather
goods
.
To begin
, the animal
hides
 used to make
leather
goods
 are dried up under the sunlight.
Then
 washed
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a water lime liquid, which is aimed to clean up the wool.
Following
this
, the washed hide is soaked in a vat of lime to kill the Bacteria. In the subsequent, the
hides
 are placed inside a roller machine, which is designed to flatten and roll out the dried skin.
Next,
the tanning process
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 tannins extracted from vegetable matter.
This
 removes the hair and makes the hide flexible. After that, the polishing process
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 circular rollers. The objective of polishing is to remove the outermost surface layer, leaving a softer finish to the touch.
Finally
, the
hides
 are delivered to a
leather
goods
 factory in order to produce the final products
such
 as shoes and bags.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure but could benefit from more cohesive devices to improve flow between stages.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the scene well, but consider providing more explicit connections between stages to make the process clearer.
task achievement
Polish your ideas further, making them clear and comprehensive by avoiding repetition and ensuring each sentence adds new information or clarity.
task achievement
Try to use specific terminology related to the leather-making process to enhance the technical accuracy of your descriptions.
task achievement
The essay effectively sequences the stages involved in leather production, outlining a clear process from drying to product creation.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is well-rounded and encapsulates the stages in a manner that summarises the process neatly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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