Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
It is considered by some that playing
video
games
is harmless, or even benefital
for education, Correct your spelling
beneficial
while
others rebut that this
hobby impacts players
negatively. This
essay will delve into both sides of statement
before rendering my support for the latter one.
Those in support of the latter stance might debate that the process of playing Correct article usage
the statement
video
games
could promote players
’ minds when dealing with educational problems. For instance
, Players
might fight with some rivals in the games
, which means they demand to figure out the main shortages of them, to be more specific, they should rapidly recognize the rivals’ features and find out the weakest ones. In other words
, these processes of overcoming the impediments in games
are
resemble Unnecessary verb
apply
to
those for coping the educational problems Remove the preposition
apply
such
as mathematics or physical puzzles, which means if players
could use the process of thinking while
coping with educational problems, they might have a greater result compared to those have never touched games
.
Nevertheless
, I would rebut that video
games
would lead to
people to be addicted. Take students that keen on Change preposition
apply
this
fun as an example, they might unable
to control themselves because of their Add a missing verb
be unable
intension
to get a higher score than their friends or pass the entire game, which might lead to them Replace the word
intention
to be
distracted by Change the verb form
being
this
fun although
they should spend more spirit on their academic assignments and socializing. In this
case, probably would they result in bad consequences in study
and even lose their friends.
In conclusion, playing Add an article
the study
video
games
is truly harmful to players
because it would diverts
their concentration from their affairs on school or work Change the verb form
divert
although
some contend it might improve players
’ minds.Submitted by luoyinjian2 on
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Consider adding a thesis statement that summarizes your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea, followed by explanations, examples, or evidence. Try using a wider variety of linking words to show the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. These examples should clearly demonstrate how video games affect individuals positively or negatively.
task achievement
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your main points and reinforce your position. Make sure it reflects the arguments made throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for unnecessary repetition of ideas. Aim for clarity and precision in your arguments to avoid restating the same points.
task achievement
Take care with grammatical accuracy and range. Try to diversify your sentence structures and use complex grammatical constructions correctly to improve the fluency of your writing.