IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Air pollution is one of the largest problems the world is facing today. What measures can be proposed to solve this problem?

In our modern era, the issue regarding
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 has become widely disputed throughout the whole
world
Use synonyms
. Some people believe that
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is not becoming the enormous trouble that the
world
Use synonyms
 is facing these days. Several factors and solutions will be provided in the following paragraphs. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the biggest problems
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the entire
world
Use synonyms
 is facing current time.
One
Use synonyms
 of the solutions can be replacing
petrol
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 with
e-
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 may reduce harm to
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 and the
world
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Government need to increase
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of the
petrol
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the government may reduce price of the electricity which may influence to people buy
e-
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 more than
petrol
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it may reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Is a
Unnecessary verb
A
show examples
 drawback of replacing
petrol
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 with
e-
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 is that the value of
petrol
Use synonyms
 may be reduced in the future cause of the replacement of
cars
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, There is another factor that can damage
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is the production of materials or items by factories and spreading the Co2 emissions.
One
Use synonyms
 possible solution to address
this
Linking Words
 issue is reducing factories.
One
Use synonyms
 positive outcome of
this
Linking Words
 solution is less
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 drawback of
this
Linking Words
 solution is the increasing unemployment in the entire
world
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are several types of damages to
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 that can be solved by two reasons that I provided .
One
Use synonyms
 of them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is replacing
petrol
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 with
e-
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
. Another factor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is reducing factories it may decrease damage to
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on introducing your main points in the introduction and reinforcing them in the conclusion for a stronger and more cohesive essay structurally.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by covering all aspects of the question comprehensively and demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Try to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by refining how you express them. Use specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: