It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #projects #wildlife

There are several

issues

that a

government

has to tackle.

Therefore

it is argued that the

government

’s expenditure focuses too much on

wildlife

protection

whereas

, there are other more pressing

problems

While

it is true, that it is important to preserve animals in a safe environment, I believe that other matters,

such

as global warming or pollution, are more severe because they can not only

damage

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a certain country but the whole planet. Regarding the environmental

issues

besides

wildlife

protection

some other

problems

are worth to be addressed by the

government

Firstly

, the crucial issue is global warming,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

affects everyone in the world.

Due to

this

phenomenon, tons of other

problems

are arising including climate change or air and water pollution. These matters are detrimental to animals and humans in the same way,

therefore

, the

government

could emphasize the importance of these

problems

and invest in sustainable practices,

for instance

utilizing renewable energy sources

instead

of fossil fuels, which are by far the largest contributor to global warming. Focusing

Change preposition

on these

show examples

these

Change preposition

on these

show examples

problems

first,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would enhance the ecosystem, and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wildlife

can

also

benefit from it.

On the other hand

, apart from environmental

issues

, there are other

such

concerning

problems

related to the economy and society. These include an increasing unemployment rate, economic inequality, or low salaries for certain professions. Many people are affected by being unemployed and it

also

has an impact on the economy too, with people not being able to afford certain services.

Furthermore

, obtaining a low salary is

also

a pressing problem, which can lead to dissatisfaction in the society, that a

government

has to tackle.

This

is why I believe, dealing with society-related

issues

is more important than

wildlife

protection

because the economy is mostly driven by society In conclusion, the

government

has to address a lot of

problems

and, undoubtedly, it can be a difficult task to prioritize them. Despite the importance of

wildlife

protection

, I maintain that the other

problems

I have highlighted are more pressing.

Submitted by rkerkovits on Thu Mar 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This can include synonyms, pronouns, and transitions that guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure you thoroughly address both sides of the argument before presenting your opinion. This includes providing specific examples and details for each viewpoint.

task achievement

Deepen your analysis by exploring the implications or potential outcomes of the issues you discuss. This adds depth to your argument and shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
safeguard
natural habitats
foster
cultural of conservation
long-term ecological sustainability
economic benefits
significant source of revenue
investment
nation’s economic wealth
preservation of ecosystems
clean water and air
prioritization
multi-faceted government budgets
environmental protection
wildlife conservation
neglecting
detrimental effects

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It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that staying in a hotel in a foreign country when on holiday is not the best way to get to know about the country and its people. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, schools have started to include online learning as part of their curriculum. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?